


bruh, chill, i don't know why you're in a big time rush

by cloutstrife



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Poly, Background Relationships, Break Up, Chatting & Messaging, Cheating, Coming Out, Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Drinking Games, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/F, F/M, M/M, Memes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Tags May Change, Unhealthy Relationships, background ags much later in the fic, basically ff7 are dumb college kids, but basically zakkura and aerti r endgame, i mention squall/leon in here too, its college come on, lucrecia/vincent is a background relationship but the only stable one smh, marlene will also be mentioned, primarily renorude, rufus and the turks might be mentioned, seph gets a redemption arc, seph isnt abusive but he is kind of toxic, ships r gonna change as we go along, so many memes....
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:40:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloutstrife/pseuds/cloutstrife
Summary: zackthegoathas created a group chat withcloutstrife,aerithgains, and5 others.zackthegoat[14:32]can i have notes from lecture yesterdayzackthegoat[14:32]I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE.in which zack fair accidentally makes a group chat, and hilarity with a hint of life ensues.
Relationships: Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth, Lucrecia Crescent/Vincent Valentine, Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 109
Kudos: 213





	1. pov: zack fair puts you in a group chat while asking for notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [14:40]  
> omg the dilf has arrived ring the choir
> 
>  **cloutstrife** [14:41]  
> yuffie do u even know what dilf means
> 
>  **zackthegoat** [14:41]  
> damn i love fishing B)
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which zack accidentally creates a group chat, vincent valentine is the resident dilf, and yuffie is about to steal zack's gallbladder.

**zackthegoat** has created a group chat with **cloutstrife** , **aerithgains** , and **5 others**.

 **zackthegoat** [14:32]  
can i have notes from lecture yesterday

 **zackthegoat** [14:32]  
I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE.

 **aerithgains** [14:32]  
zack something tells me you didn't mean to make a group chat

 **teafalockhart** [14:32]  
nice one zack

 **yeetfie** [14:32]  
ZACK SKJFBSJDJDF

 **cloutstrife** [14:33]  
if it makes you feel better i didnt go to lecture yesterday either

 **wallb** [14:33]  
Yeah you were sucking face with your boyfriend in the library we get it

 **sephirothc** [14:34]  
i plead the fifth.

 **cloutstrife** [14:34]  
this is homophobia

 **zackthegoat** [14:34]  
okay but i still havent gotten notes from lecture

 **sephirothc** [14:35]  
zack, i've emailed you the notes from statistics.

 **aerithgains** [14:35]  
just texted you the notes for art history!

 **yeetfie** [14:35]  
this is such a mishmash of classes what the fuck is your major zack

 **zackthegoat** [14:35]  
cool guy B)

 **cloutstrife** [14:36]  
damn are you behind on your degree then?

 **zackthegoat** [14:36]  
IN MY OWN GROUP CHAT?

 **zackthegoat** [14:36]  
but actually my major is communications :// i just needed a math class so i took statistics with big brain sephiroth

 **sephirothc** [14:37]  
i'm flattered.

 **sephirothc** [14:37]  
i, for one, couldn't stand a major where the premise is trying to get people to like you.

 **yeetfie** [14:37]  
yeah bc nobody likes u

 **cloutstrife** [14:38]  
rude

 **cloutstrife** [14:38]  
brb in lab

 **aerithgains** [14:38]  
vincent i see you lurking :^)

 **zackthegoat** [14:39]  
I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE I PUT VINCENT IN THIS CHAT

 **vincentval** [14:40]  
unfortunately

 **yeetfie** [14:40]  
omg the dilf has arrived ring the choir

 **cloutstrife** [14:41]  
yuffie do u even know what dilf means

 **zackthegoat** [14:41]  
damn i love fishing B)

 **wallb** [14:42]  
Cloud didnt you go to the bathroom where are you

 **cloutstrife** [14:42]  
i had to walk to the one next to campus starbucks because someone was juuling in the one next to lab im omw back now

 **sephirothc** [14:43]  
i wasn't aware barret was your lab partner?

 **cloutstrife** [14:43]  
he was the only other environmental science major so we just decided to pair up

 **sephirothc** [14:44]  
ah. i see.

 **zackthegoat** [14:44]  
okay pack it up gnomeo and juliet

 **yeetfie** [14:44]  
GNOMEO...????????

 **teafalockhart** [14:44]  
yeah have you seen cloud next to sephiroth? its HILARIOUS

 **cloutstrife** [14:45]  
i will strangle you

sephirothc [14:45]  
love, could you even reach her?

 **cloutstrife** [14:45]  
she's sunken low enough for me to reach

 **teafalockhart** [14:45]  
OW???

 **aerithgains** [14:45]  
are we just going to ignore how zack insinuated that if cloud and sephiroth were gnomeo and juliet, that sephiroth would be juliet?

 **zackthegoat** [14:46]  
its the good hair

wallb [14:46]  
Cloud hurry up

 **aerithgains** [14:46]  
you know we've all been calling vincent a dilf but barret texts like the real boomer here

 **zackthegoat** [14:46]  
THE REAL BOOMER LMAOOOOOOO

 **cloutstrife** [14:46]  
so i can't talk to my b*yfriend but zack can send a lmao with 7 o's to his girl? okay

 **wallb** [14:47]  
You counted the o's?

 **cloutstrife** [14:47]  
and what of it, boomer?

 **zackthegoat** [14:47]  
LISTEN...I LIKE HYPING UP MY FLOWER GIRL OKAY?

 **zackthegoat** [14:47]  
i'll hype u up if u want me to, clout strife B)

 **cloutstrife** [14:48]  
i will crush your bones and sell them as keurig pods

 **sephirothc** [14:48]  
there, there.

 **teafalockhart** [14:48]  
that insult wasn't even directed at me and i had to stop and reel from it,,,

 **cloutstrife** [14:48]  
okay going back to lab brb

 **yeetfie** [14:48]  
my man took 10 minutes to pee....

 **yeetfie** [14:49]  
wait dont yall have class rn

 **aerithgains** [14:49]  
my bio lecture just ended so i'm walking to the tea store across the street for a small study session :^)

 **vincentval** [14:50]  
i have mondays off but i'm in the library

 **zackthegoat** [14:50]  
i'm still waiting for sociology notes from genesis before i make myself study ://

 **sephirothc** [14:50]  
good luck with that, he's in lecture.

 **zackthegoat** [14:50]  
ON GOD? THE RIOT WILL BEGIN...

 **sephirothc** [14:50]  
i can message him, but i don't know if that'll distract him from overanalyzing loveless.

 **zackthegoat** [14:51]  
HE KEEPS QUOTING LOVELESS AT ME WHEN I HANG OUT WITH HIM AND ANGEAL. WE GET IT, YOU'RE GETTING A DEGREE IN A LANGUAGE YOU ALREADY SPEAK

 **aerithgains** [14:51]  
dumbass?

 **zackthegoat** [14:51]  
close, english

 **yeetfie** [14:52]  
DUMBASS SLKNVKSDGAKLSGKJDGL

 **zackthegoat** [14:53]  
anyways while we're here...i propose that we all hang out sometime this week B)

 **aerithgains** [14:53]  
i would be interested! i haven't seen a lot of you in forever :)

 **cloutstrife** [14:53]  
after tomorrow i'm free

 **cloutstrife** [14:53]  
barret too

 **sephirothc** [14:53]  
i'll see if i can make time.

 **yeetfie** [14:54]  
sephiroth and cloud r legally required to stay 6 feet away from each other. if i even SEE premarital looking its horny JAIL.

 **cloutstrife** [14:54]  
wow

 **zackthegoat** [14:54]  
HORNY JAIL I KNVKASHGKS

 **teafalockhart** [14:54]  
choose a day and i'll see if i can get someone to cover my shift at 7h!

 **aerithgains** [14:55]  
wait tifa i think i saw you just walk into the tea cafe :0 i'm waving to you

 **teafalockhart** [14:55]  
omg i see you im coming so we can study

 **vincentval** [14:55]  
tomorrow i have a date with lucrecia, but after that i should be free.

 **yeetfie** [14:56]  
imagine being in a relationship,..ok boomers

 **yeetfie** [14:56]  
this has been brought to u by the aro community B)

 **zackthegoat** [14:56]  
U STOLE MY EMOJI???? WHAT'S NEXT? MY WALLET?

 **yeetfie** [14:56]  
ur giving me ideas B))

 **zackthegoat** [14:56]  
ANYWHO.

 **zackthegoat** [14:56]  
do you guys wanna go to golden saucer and watch a movie like on friday night? that way we can stay out and party B)

 **teafalockhart** [14:57]  
aerith and i are down!

 **cloutstrife** [14:57]  
yeah i have no plans

 **sephirothc** [14:58]  
that sounds fine, yes.

 **yeetfie** [14:58]  
swag

 **zackthegoat** [14:58]  
uninviting yuffie. crime? using "swag" unironically

 **yeetfie** [14:59]  
ZACK. I WILL STEAL YOUR GALLBLADDER.

 **vincentval** [14:59]  
i honestly wouldn't put it past her

 **zackthegoat** [14:59]  
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, MINION.

 **yeetfie** [15:00]  
TURN AROUND, ZACK FAIR

 **zackthegoat** [15:00]  
HPLY SHIT

 **zackthegoat** [15:00]  
GTG YUGGIE CHASE BYE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi hi im back with another thing i hopefully wont forget about heehee. anyways yes they're all in college bc i said so...i miss being on campus this thing is my one (1) molecule of serotonin left.
> 
> anyways, here's a breakdown if you got confused by anybody's users/majors :)
> 
>  **zackthegoat** – zack fair, communications major, 2nd year  
>  **aerithgains** – aerith gainsborough, biology major, 2nd year  
>  **teafalockhart** – tifa lockhart, sports medicine major, 2nd year  
>  **yeetfie** – yuffie kisaragi, political science major, 2nd year (technically 1st year, but she's a sophomore in the system because she got enough credits from taking community college courses while she was still in high school)  
>  **cloutstrife** – cloud strife, environmental science major, 2nd year  
>  **wallb** – barret wallace, environmental science major, 2nd year (technically 3rd year, but he switched from urban planning to environmental science, so he's a year behind)  
>  **sephirothc** – sephiroth crescent, neurobiology major, 3rd year  
>  **vincentval** – vincent valentine, anthropology major, 3rd year
> 
> stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! ily!!
> 
> \- angie


	2. pool closed due to aids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [11:43]  
> i've been exposed...this shit isn't very dattebayo
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which zack falls down the stairs, sephiroth starts acting strange, and the pool is closed due to aids.

**zackthegoat** [11:35]  
hello my darling friends! guess who just got INJURED!

 **aerithgains** [11:35]  
are you okay?

 **zackthegoat** [11:36]  
yeah LOL im in the student health office with an ice pack on my head while cloti went to go get snacks

 **sephirothc** [11:36]  
cloti?

 **teafalockhart** [11:36]  
lol yeah it's a shorthand way of saying "cloud and tifa" bc we're always together

 **sephirothc** [11:37]  
i see.

 **teafalockhart** [11:37]  
btw zack we're on our way back

 **zackthegoat** [11:38]  
thank u :-)

 **aerithgains** [11:38]  
what happened zack:(

 **zackthegoat** [11:38]  
i was feeling lightheaded because i hadn't eaten all day, and then before i knew it i missed a step going down the stairs with cloti and i. uh ate it

 **cloutstrife** [11:38]  
he got made into a gravel pincushion

 **yeetfie** [11:38]  
bruh how could u eat it if u hadn't eaten all day???

 **zackthegoat** [11:39]  
LISTEN HERE, GREMLIN.

 **cloutstrife** [11:39]  
zack can you open the door for us its locked

 **zackthegoat** [11:39]  
i'm literally INJURED. my head got a BOOBOO.

 **sephirothc** [11:40]  
zack.

 **zackthegoat** [11:40]  
dw i was just playing im omw to open the door LMAOOOO 

**sephirothc** [11:40]  
uh-huh.

 **yeetfie** [11:40]  
my man just hyphenated his uh huh.....

 **sephirothc** [11:41]  
anyways, cloud. do you want to go get lunch together?

 **cloutstrife** [11:41]  
no, i picked up food for tifa and i while getting snacks for zack

 **sephirothc** [11:41]  
interesting. and why did zack need snacks, again.

 **aerithgains** [11:41]  
he's type-1 diabetic. his blood sugar was probably low :(

 **zackthegoat** [11:42]  
right on da money

 **sephirothc** [11:42]  
intriguing.

 **yeetfie** [11:42]  
y. you know what was also low? his body. a. after he. after he fell d. down the st

 **zackthegoat** [11:4]  
finish that sentence, i dare u, weeb (gun emoji)

 **yeetfie** [11:43]  
WEEB?????????????

 **vincentval** [11:43]  
weren't you watching Naruto in calculus today

 **yeetfie** [11:43]  
WHY DID YOU ONLY CAPITALIZE NARUTO KSNVSJHD

 **yeetfie** [11:43]  
but yes,s,,,,i was....i've been exposed...this shit isn't very dattebayo B(

 **zackthegoat** [11:44]  
YOU ONLY FURTHER SOLIDIFY MY CASE, EMOJI THIEF.

 **wallb** [11:44]  
Objection

 **vincentval** [11:44]  
overruled

 **yeetfie** [11:44]  
SO U CAN QUOTE PHOENIX WRIGHT ACE ATTORNEY BUT I CAN'T WATCH NARUTO IN PEACE????

 **zackthegoat** [11:45]  
PHONEI X WRIGHT ACE ATTONRYE ISN'T ANIME??????

 **yeetfie** [11:45]  
THEN WHAT IS IT??? PRAY TELL.

 **zackthegoat** [11:45]  
ITS A VIDEO GAME????

 **yeetfie** [11:45]  
BUT ITS FROM JAPAN.

 **zackthegoat** [11:45]  
LISTEN, BITCH.

 **zackthegoat** [11:45]  
I WIWW PUT THIS IN BABY TAWK FOW YOUW TINY WITTLE PEA BWAIN TO UNDEWSTAND

 **zackthegoat** [11:46]  
ACE ATTORNEY IS NOT ANIME. IT IS A VIDEO GAME. RELEASED BY CAPCOM.

 **zackthegoat** [11:46]  
IN 2001 A.D.!!!!!!!!!

 **cloutstrife** [11:46]  
are we just going to ignore the fact that zack typed out "gun emoji"

 **zackthegoat** [11:46]  
listen u twink i cracked my phone so i cant press the emoji button on my keyboard B(((( this is anti-poggers

 **sephirothc** [11:47]  
very amusing.

 **aerithgains** [11:47]  
anti-pog = gop?

 **wallb** [11:48]  
Republicans?

 **teafalockhart** [11:48]  
this just in...republicans labelled anti-pog

 **cloutstrife** [11:49]  
good evidence

 **yeetfie** [11:49]  
as a poli-sci major, yes

 **yeetfie** [11:50]  
also as the only poli-sci major here, ace attorney is anime. its an anime video game. thank u very much uwu

 **zackthegoat** [11:50]  
BITCH DO U WATCH IT?? NO. U PLAY IT AND U WATCH CUTSCENES. ITS A VIDEO GAME

 **yeetfie** [11:50]  
R U JAPANESE? NO. I AM. ITS ANIME. ITS DONE. ITS OVER. CASE CLOSED. BITCH.

 **zackthegoat** [11:50]  
BRO IM A RICE CRACKER THATS GOTTA STAND FOR SOMETHING B(

 **vincentval** [11:51]  
i'm intrigued. rice cracker meaning?

 **aerithgains** [11:51]  
he uses that to say he's half white half filipino

 **zackthegoat** [11:51]  
u get me baby B)

 **teafalockhart** [11:51]  
i make a 3 minute phone call and you all devolve into CHAOS

 **cloutstrife** [11:52]  
did u expect anything more

 **teafalockhart** [11:52]  
if im being honest?? nope!

 **wallb** [11:52]  
Anyway I'm going with Marlene to the water park for her birthday this weekend if you all wanted to go

 **teafalockhart** [11:53]  
expect me! i miss marlene so much :((

 **yeetfie** [11:53]  
who the fuck marlene

 **cloutstrife** [11:53]  
barret's daughter. her late parents were barret's friends, so he decided to adopt her

 **wallb** [11:53]  
She's my angel!

 **aerithgains** [11:53]  
tifa, i wanna go too! can you pick me up?

 **teafalockhart** [11:54]  
zack's not taking you?

 **zackthegoat** [11:54]  
i have a track meet this weekend! go have fun baby :)

 **aerithgains** [11:54]  
i'll have enough fun for the both of us <3

 **teafalockhart** [11:54]  
then i have no problem picking u up aerith!!

 **aerithgains** [11:55]  
OMG im so excited for this weekend now yay!!!!<33 thank you tifa

 **yeetfie** [11:55]  
GRODY.

 **zackthegoat** [11:55]  
besides....pool closed due to aids

 **cloutstrife** [11:55]  
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT. I HATE YOU

 **zackthegoat** [11:55]  
SKJVBKASDGHKSGHGH 

**sephirothc** [11:56]  
mind enlightening us on your little inside joke?

 **cloutstrife** [11:56]  
zack and i were studying together earlier today because neither of us had class @ that time. he pokes my shoulder and shows me an 10 minute video about an internet meme. its really not that deep

 **zackthegoat** [11:56]  
watch out for stingraids.....

 **cloutstrife** [11:56]  
IF YOU KEEP THIS UP I'LL USE THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS AS A TO-DO LIST.

 **vincentval** [11:57]  
noting that for future use. thanks cloud

 **zackthegoat** [11:57]  
AS A TO-DO LIST LSKADGGHLASLF

 **wallb** [11:57]  
That's a next level insult Cloud

 **aerithgains** [11:58]  
consider...if you don't shut up i'll braid your veins

 **vincentval** [11:58]  
i'll chop your family tree

 **zackthegoat** [11:58]  
i'll purple-nurple you so hard they'll feel it in tibet

 **cloutstrife** [11:59]  
i'll cut it off

 **aerithgains** [11:59]  
i'll rip it off

 **teafalockhart** [12:00]  
i'll smash it

 **yeetfie** [12:00]  
i'll give you the cheese touch

 **zackthegoat** [12:00]  
OK NO DEATH THREATS, YUFFIE

 **cloutstrife** [12:00]  
this is amazing. saving these all for future reference

 **zackthegoat** [12:01]  
anyways does this sick ass head injury mean i get to skip out on classes :-)

 **aerithgains** [12:01]  
ZACK

 **zackthegoat** [12:01]  
only playing!

* * *

this is a private conversation with **sephirothc** and **cloutstrife**!

**sephirothc** [19:01]  
we haven't seen each other in a while.

 **cloutstrife** [19:01]  
what do you mean? we went out last week, and we went to golden saucer two days ago with everyone?

 **sephirothc** [19:02]  
last week, zack and angeal were there too. i meant alone. i've missed you, cloud.

 **cloutstrife** [19:02]  
i mean i've missed u too but

 **cloutstrife** [19:02]  
did something happen? you've been kind of weird for the past few days

 **sephirothc** [19:03]  
not that i'm aware of. what makes you say that?

 **cloutstrife** [19:04]  
you've just been acting kind of weird in the group chat like.

 **cloutstrife** [19:04]  
i don't mean to be rude but. you know i'm still allowed to hang out with tifa and zack, right?

 **cloutstrife** [19:05]  
like,, just like how aerith and zack have their own lives outside of each other?

 **cloutstrife** [19:35]  
. babe?

 **sephirothc** [19:37]  
apologies, love. i'm a bit tense right now. i'll talk to you tomorrow.

 **cloutstrife** [19:38]  
ok, hope you get better.

 **sephirothc** [19:38]  
i'm sorry, darling. i love you.

 **sephirothc** has logged off!

 **cloutstrife** [19:39]  
. yeah.

 **cloutstrife** has logged off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowow back-to-back updates?? this is a surprise to myself LMAOOO but i've been so happy with the response this is getting i've been motivated to write more!! i do read every comment and reply to them, and i do look into every bookmark and what the bookmark is about! that being said, if you have any questions or comments or suggestions on how the story should progress (it's not set in stone yet), feel free to comment below or reach out to me on my [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/nu0cmamiii/)!
> 
> anyways, back to the story. of course this is all their tomfoolery as always but...what's this private message conversation with sephi and cloud? do i smell jealousy? hm...hmm hmm hmm. well, ig u just have 2 wait ;)
> 
> thank you all so much if you've read this follow! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! ily <3
> 
> ––angie


	3. what are you, straight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wallb** [13:16]  
> Damn it be like that
> 
> **aerithgains** [13:16]  
> things it be like: that
> 
> **yeetfie** [13:17]  
> t beest liketh yond
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which vincent has never watched star wars, sephiroth is a gemini, and cloud learns to like caramel macchiatos.

**yeetfie** [13:03]  
prepareth to square! i shall heave the gorge on thy livings, naughty mushrump!

**teafalockhart** [13:03]  
im fucking shaking WHAT

**wallb** [13:03]  
I just said I don't like pickles Yuffie

**yeetfie** [13:03]  
aye, and thou art a fucking blinking idiot f'r declaring so in mine own presence! me, the pickle god!

**cloutstrife** [13:04]  
is that even english what does that even say

**sephirothc** [13:04]  
"prepare to fight! i will vomit on your possessions, naughty mushroom!" and "yes, and you are a fucking idiot for saying so in my own presence! me, the pickle god!"

**teafalockhart** [13:05]  
pardon me, but how the FUCK do you know that

**aerithgains** [13:05]  
hey guys!

**yeetfie** [13:05]  
while thee w're partying, sephiroth did study the blade

**aerithgains** [13:05]  
nevermind!

**teafalockhart** [13:05]  
LMAOOOOOOO

**sephirothc** [13:06]  
genesis has drilled old english into my head. i think its a power trip for him.

**yeetfie** [13:06]  
[a warning gunshot] thee shall speaketh at which hour spoken to, sephiroth with the valorous hair!

**sephirothc** [13:06]  
i'm curious as to how you know old english, yuffie

**yeetfie** [13:06]  
a mistress nev'r reveals h'r secrets

**cloutstrife** [13:07]  
lingojam

**yeetfie** [13:07]  
alas! i've been expos'd by the blond twink!

**zackthegoat** [13:07]  
THE BLOND TWINK SVHSDHS

**sephirothc** [13:07]  
hilarious.

**zackthegoat** [13:08]  
ANYWAYS. BITCHES OF THE JURY.

**zackthegoat** [13:08]  
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT WE HAVE A CRISIS. A CRISIS AT THE CORE OF OUR FRIENDSHIP. SOME MAY EVEN CALL IT A CRISIS CORE

**aerithgains** [13:08]  
wouldnt it be core crisis then??

**zackthegoat** [13:09]  
crisis core sounds cooler but thank u babe :*

**zackthegoat** [13:09]  
ANYWAYS.

**zackthegoat** [13:09]  
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT VINCENT VALENTINE, AKA RESIDENT DILF, AKA @vincentval, HAS NEVER WATCHED STAR WARS.

**yeetfie** [13:09]  
FUCK YOU, REALLY?

**teafalockhart** [13:10]  
holy shit you broke yuffie's old english

**cloutstrife** [13:10]  
the force be with you

**aerithgains** [13:10]  
and with your spirit

**wallb** [13:11]  
HUH?

**vincentval** [13:11]  
yes i've never watched star wars

**vincentval** [13:11]  
but lucrecia wanted to dress up as the lady with the buns and her significant other, so i asked zack if he could fill me in

**vincentval** [13:11]  
instead he went apeshit

**aerithgains** [13:12]  
that's rlly wholesome...my parents :(

**wallb** [13:12]  
Vincent gives me more Sephiroth dad vibes

**sephirothc** [13:12]  
i beg to differ. i don't really see it.

**yeetfie** [13:12]  
Then beg.

**zackthegoat** [13:13]  
THEN BEG LKSDSLKGLDKSGJ

**zackthegoat** [13:13]  
ANYWAYS, I PROPOSE WE ALL PLAN A DAY WHERE WE CAN BINGE THE STAR WARS MOVIES. WE CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE LEAVE VINCENT VALENTINE, OUR FATHER, IN THE DARK

**cloutstrife** [13:13]  
vincent came back with the milk after the last 19 years of my life

**vincentval** [13:14]  
isn't sephiroth older than me? i was born oct 13

**aerithgains** [13:14]  
spooky!

**sephirothc** [13:14]  
i was born on may 22nd.

**teafalockhart** [13:15]  
CLOUD, YOU'RE DATING A GEMINI?

**zackthegoat** [13:15]  
SEPHIROTH...IM SO SORRY....

**yeetfie** [13:15]  
THIS EXPLAINS A LOT, ACTUALLY

**sephirothc** [13:16]  
is that a problem?

**zackthegoat** [13:16]  
UR PARENTS WERE AWFUL PLANNERS....HAVING A BABY IN MAY, KNOWING FULL WELL IT COULD BE A GEMINI.....

**wallb** [13:16]  
Damn it be like that

**aerithgains** [13:16]  
things it be like: that

**yeetfie** [13:17]  
t beest liketh yond

**zackthegoat** [13:17]  
OKAY EVERYONE + THE GEMINI, ARE WE GAME FOR A STAR WARS MARATHON...

**cloutstrife** [13:17]  
bitch where in the dorm common room?

**zackthegoat** [13:18]  
bruh...anywhere but that

**zackthegoat** [13:18]  
i don't trust that carpet dude

**wallb** [13:18]  
I've seen too many things be spilled onto that carpet and not once that I see someone clean it

**zackthegoat** [13:18]  
BARRET GETS ME

**teafalockhart** [13:19]  
as for location, we can park my truck at the beach, sit in the back, and bring a projector and a screen

**aerithgains** [13:19]  
i haven't watched star wars but i'd be willing to go just for that experience...

**zackthegoat** [13:19]  
YOU TOO, AERITH?

**zackthegoat** [13:19]  
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN.

**cloutstrife** [13:20]  
what are you, straight?

**yeetfie** [13:20]  
THE ONLY VALID STRAIGHTIES ARE BARRET AND VINCENT

**zackthegoat** [13:21]  
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BE MORE OFFENDED AT BEING ACCUSED OF BEING A H*T*RO OR, IF I WAS A H*T*RO, NOT BEING IN THE VALID LIST.

**zackthegoat** [13:21]  
I'M BI BTW BUT I JUST LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND B( SUE ME.

**teafalockhart** [13:21]  
i wish someone loved me like that man...

**yeetfie** [13:21]  
LMAO i dont i got hot chip to keep me happy

**cloutstrife** [13:22]  
rlly resonated w how you censored hetero

**zackthegoat** [13:22]  
yeah bc its a fucking bad word

**yeetfie** [13:22]  
HOW TO GET AN INTERACTION TATTOO'D ON MY BRAINSTEM....

**yeetfie** [13:22]  
I WANRT THAT IMPRINTED ON MY MEDULLA OBLONGATA

**teafalockhart** [13:23]  
I JUST SNORTED OUT MY WATER. THANKS YUFFIE.

**yeetfie** [13:23]  
thou art welcometh, peasant. i'll sendeth the bill in the mail

**teafalockhart** [13:23]  
that'll do that'll do

**aerithgains** [13:24]  
so when are we going to watch star wars at the beach? i really dont wanna miss it so i'll make my schedule around it :^(

**zackthegoat** [13:24]  
LOOKK AT HER GO....MY BABY PLANNING THINGS....UR SO BEAUTIFUL

**aerithgains** [13:24]  
aww thanks heehee<3

**yeetfie** [13:24]  
i wish i couldn't read

**cloutstrife** [13:24]  
u want ur literacy taken away? i know a guy

**yeetfie** [13:25]  
HUH,,,,????

**sephirothc** [13:25]  
i snorted. thanks, cloud.

**cloutstrife** [13:25]  
see when im dead in 10 years you'll realize what a great comedian i was

**zackthegoat** [13:25]  
10 YEARS????

**cloutstrife** [13:25]  
be glad i didnt say 10 minutes

**teafalockhart** [13:26]  
CLOUD ARE YOU OKAY

**cloutstrife** [13:26]  
feelin crunchy

**zackthegoat** [13:26]  
HOW....WHAT....HOW.....??????

**teafalockhart** [13:27]  
GOOD NIGHT.

**aerithgains** [13:27]  
its 1:27??

**teafalockhart** [13:27]  
GOOD NIGHT...

**yeetfie** [13:27]  
that gent's humour crunchy

**teafalockhart** [13:27]  
OKAY. BYE.

* * *

this is a private conversation with **zackthegoat** and **cloutstrife**!

**zackthegoat** [13:46]  
hey man you weren't serious back then right?? sorry i just got a bit scared and thought i'd check up on you

**cloutstrife** [13:46]  
wdym?

**zackthegoat** [13:46]  
like,,,the 10 years comment LOL

**cloutstrife** [13:46]  
oh yeah im fine lol sorry if i worried you

**cloutstrife** [13:47]  
i just have a lupus flare-up so i was just being dramatic

**zackthegoat** [13:47]  
that's not very poggers :-(( is there anything i can do to help?

**cloutstrife** [13:47]  
i cant believe u actually say poggers

**zackthegoat** [13:47]  
it's part of the cool guy aesthetic B)

**cloutstrife** [13:47]  
lol i mean i'll be fine i just might not come to the watch party

**zackthegoat** [13:48]  
WAIT NO come :-(( it's not a party without the clout man

**cloutstrife** [13:48]  
now im definitely not coming

**zackthegoat** [13:48]  
CLOUD

**cloutstrife** [13:48]  
i'm kidding. but like not really lol

**cloutstrife** [13:48]  
idk my lupus just bothers me. i. i guess i feel kind of weird with the rashes

**zackthegoat** [13:49]  
u gotta be there for aerith and the dilf's first viewing of star wars tho!! besides i like hanging out w u since we didn't get to often our 1st year

**zackthegoat** [13:49]  
i'll have aerith or tifa get some makeup for you so we can cover up the rashes and make you feel better okay? and some sunscreen

**cloutstrife** [13:49]  
whatever you say lol

**zackthegoat** [13:49]  
i'm serious!!!!!!

**zackthegoat** [13:49]  
ok wait ur in the sector 7 dorm right?? go to the front door. i got u a surprise B)))

**cloutstrife** [13:50]  
???

**zackthegoat** [13:50]  
i got you starbucks! white people like caramel macchiatos right

**cloutstrife** [13:50]  
zack ur half white

**cloutstrife** [13:50]  
but sure

**zackthegoat** [13:51]  
NOICE anyways gtgtgtgtg aerith's waiting for me to drive her home today B) i better see u at the watch party or else i will drag ur ass out of thhe dorms

**zackthegoat** [13:51]  
byeeeeeee

**zackthegoat** has logged off!

**cloutstrife** [13:51]  
. expect me then

**cloutstrife** [13:51]  
God i dont even like caramel macchiatos

**cloutstrife** [14:01]  
wait this kind of slaps

**cloutstrife** [14:01]  
. thanks zack

**cloutstrife** has logged off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really need to stop posting these at like 1/2am LMAOOOOO but i cant help it...the night brings out the prime memes....and it allows me to post at least somewhat daily LMAOOO
> 
> anyways i hope u enjoyed this chapter!! i'd pay extra special attention to the timestamps in the clack convo; they're texting each other back p quickly ;))) and i KNOW i should've had zack get cloud one of those starbucks cloud macchiatos but...next time...also the cloud macchiatos r literally egg whites thats not the vibe
> 
> ALSO DISCLAIMER sephiroth doesn't actually have a concrete birthday from what i could find so i took the liberty of making him a gemini. his may 22nd birthday is PURELY headcanon i literally only made it that for a joke. dont take it seriously (i mean take it seriously if u want to if sephiroth was a canonical gemini i'd laugh my ass off) and don't kill me hardcore lore ppl :))))
> 
> anyways thank u for the support and the love! i love reading and replying to every single one of your comments and seeing you as invested in this series as i am makes me rlly rlly happy! as always: stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! love ya!!!
> 
> \-- angie


	4. zack and the group chat: chipwrecked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [12:43]  
> I'M JUST SAYING. WHAT IF HE HAS A FLING WITH ME AND HE GHOSTS ME FOR GREECE FOR TWO DECADES, THEN OMINOUSLY INVITE ME TO THE WHITE WEDDING OF HIS DAUGHTER, WHO IS ALSO 20 YEARS OLD?
> 
>  **wallb** [12:43]  
> Yuffie thats just the plot of Mamma Mia
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which aerith gives a lesson on respecting bees, yuffie is in love with the elote vendor on campus, and zack speaks his mind with flan in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible tw for possessive/jealous sephiroth, and tifa asking cloud if sephiroth hit him (he doesn't)

it was an odd combination, the gentle crashing of waves intermingling with the electronic, sci-fi sounds of an 80's, space-themed soap opera.

cloud strife sat in between aerith and zack as the salty sea air sprayed against his freckled and pale face. blue eyes with an odd yet captivating green ring around the pupils squinted towards the screen––he should've brought his damn glasses––as he hugged his knees closer to his chest out of nothing but habit. it was normal for strife, this habit of shrinking. perhaps it stemmed from a place of anxiety. perhaps it was one of the many ways his therapist insinuated he manifested his desire to be held. he hardly believed it was the latter one. he was held, and quite a bit. he looked around at the other occupants in the trunk of tifa's turquoise truck. there was barret, sitting on the edge of the truck where the back folded out into additional space, with marlene, a girl no older than five with black hair and eyes that glued themselves to the projector screen using only awe and wonder at the moving picture as their adhesive. vincent valentine––resident dilf and main reason for gathering to binge-watch alien melodramas in the first place––sat in his own beach chair. cloud found it funny, the way he watched the screen intently. another woman who cloud assumed was lucrecia hung onto valentine's bicep and rested her head on his shoulder. cloud found himself grimace and look away. if only. yuffie was simply being yuffie, he supposed as he glanced to her as she sat on top of tifa's truck, legs swinging whilst she called out a smart aleck comment about something. cloud didn't catch it, only catching barret's loud and unpolished "shut up!". he flinched at the noise.

his attention turned to the others in the truck bed. on the other side of aerith was the owner of the truck herself: tifa lockhart. she sat in a nearly-dry black swimsuit adorned with a fluffy, blue towel around her shoulders. her wet hair rested on the fibers of her cape, and her brown eyes (amber when the sun shone at them just right) fixed themselves onto the projector screen that they had set up in the sand not too far from their parking spot. of course, there was aerith herself, with a tastefully-frilly white and pink bikini set. even though they had come to watch a movie, both girls insisted on at least spending an hour in the water while the rest of the party set up the projector and the makeshift screen (which itself was no more than black stands holding a white sheet with some of aerith's fairy lights added for extra oumph). her hair too was wet, except it was drying itself away from her shoulders in a loose bun that touched her neck.

cloud glanced over to the fairest of the fair––okay, that sounded funnier in his head––next. zack fair's golden skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, and cloud couldn't help but notice the way in which fair's eyes––infinitely more attractive and vibrant as his own––shone with the lustrousness and luminosity of a thousand sapphires in the sun's warm, orange light. his hair was slicked back, and cloud had just noticed how long it had grown. if he wanted to, he could tie it up into one of those stupid manbuns. not unlike––

cloud pulled himself away and forced himself to focus on the movie, and yet, his mind wandered still. it was strange, cloud thought to himself, how he didn't show. he found it odd that he wasn't in zack's prius (which fair had affectionately––no, stupidly––named "the mystery machine", when the only mystery was why cloud bothered to even put up with zack), given how strange he had been acting for the few weeks prior. ever since zack made the group chat––ever since he had seen cloud so freely interact with everyone, he had become strange. cloud shifted uncomfortably. he supposed that there were still secrets between them; some hidden parts that two months of dating and barely a year of knowing had not yet revealed. he never took him to be the jealous type. no, cloud figured his significant other to be calm and collected, with emotions on lock and head level at every step of the day. sure, there were...issues he was aware the other was going through, but he had never figured them to interfere with their relationship. perhaps he was wrong. he was usually wrong about these things. no, he was usually wrong about––

" cloud, you good, man? "

zack's voice brought cloud back to reality. the waves crashed gently against the sandy shores, and the iconic line about fathers or other rang as barely legible background noise in cloud's consciousness. his eyes met zack's, and the first thing cloud noticed was how fair's sapphire eyes morphed into not things of beauty, but a reflection of concern. cloud tensed––if there was one thing strife hated, it was being doted on––and looked away.

" yeah, " he practically lied through his teeth. the beat of silent after was enough to tell cloud that zack had not bought the act for a second. he sighed and resigned to curling up further, and he watched as his own arms instinctively wrapped themselves around his pale frame. " just...a bit cold. "

" well... " zack's voice trailed off, and cloud braced for––he wasn't too sure. zack's lackluster response set off something, and cloud didn't know what it was––or, more importantly, why it was so.

the blonde let out the tiniest sigh of relief as he felt soft cloth wrap around his left shoulder only to follow it with a squeak as he felt a strong arm pull him closer to the warm, tanned body next to him. he heard zack's laugh––a melody that cloud found himself wanting to buy and replay for the rest of his life––as he watched sinewy hands pull the cloth around their two bodies.

" good thing i brought a blanket, " fair said. cloud could barely register anything else. " beaches get cold at night. i thought you or aerith or someone would get cold, so i brought my coziest blanket from the apartment. "

" thanks... " cloud said. zack looked at him, and if he was still concerned, cloud could only have noticed for a split second as the sapphires in zack's eyes refracted the light in a more discerning manner. as soon as they did, however, they shifted, and cloud could only see the sun reflected in the sapphire windows to zack fair's soul.

a sea breeze hit them then, and cloud found himself actually cuddling closer into zack. it was warm, just like sitting next to a heater. no, it was warmer, like a torch. no still; zack was as hot––obviously, not *that* sort of hot; cloud *did* have a boyfriend––as the sun. another draft hit them, and cloud shivered as he pulled the blanket tighter around him. he looked to tifa and aerith in equal parts concern and respect for the two; with both emotions responding to their bravery for facing the rapidly cooling beach with still-wet swimsuits and hairstyles.

zack shifted a bit, and cloud supposed it was in response to the color draining from his face. just over aerith's head, walked in sephiroth, carrying one of cloud's jackets and blankets from the dorm room (he supposed squall had let him into the room). cloud and sephiroth's gazes met, and, if cloud wasn't so blind without his glasses, he would've seen sephiroth's eyes narrow, and his shoulders drop.

* * *

**aerithgains** [10:32]  
and this is why you show your local beehive respect!

 **yeetfie** [10:32]  
bees deserve no respect. they deserve my FOOT.

 **teafalockhart** [10:32]  
YUFFIE NO!

 **yeetfie** [10:32]  
YUFFIE YES

 **wallb** [10:33]  
Wtf is going on here its 10:30 some of us are trying to sleep

 **aerithgains** [10:33]  
don't you have class?

 **wallb** [10:33]  
Oh FUCK

 **teafalockhart** [10:33]  
BARRET???

 **yeetfie** [10:33]  
oh my fucking god he fuckin dead

 **vincentval** [10:34]  
yuffie how would you step on a bee? asking for a friend

 **teafalockhart** [10:34]  
you have friends?

 **vincentval** [10:35]  
.

 **aerithgains** [10:35]  
911? i've just witnessed a murder

 **yeetfie** [10:35]  
easee. i swing me foot

 **zackthegoat** [10:35]  
you know how yesterday when we went to get ice cream at 1am i said i should probably be studying for an exam?

 **zackthegoat** [10:35]  
yall really let me play myself that exam made me its BITCH, BRO.

 **yeetfie** [10:36]  
bro ur a communications major. for ur exam u just be talking

 **zackthegoat** [10:36]  
I KNOW BUT HEY >B(

 **zackthegoat** [10:36]  
ok but anywayz has any1 seen cloud? i was supposed to meet him before my exam because he left his sunglasses in the mystery machine but i slept in ºvº

 **teafalockhart** [10:37]  
please NEVER ºvº AGAIN.

 **sephirothc** [10:37]  
i can take them to him. i'm meeting him to help him study for an upcoming exam.

 **zackthegoat** [10:37]  
are you sure? i can just bring them to him?? get my steps in

 **cloutstrife** [10:37]  
i'll meet you, zack. where are you

 **yeetfie** [10:38]  
is it just me or are things a bit. a bit tense in here. a bit...Strained.

 **yeetfie** [10:38]  
strained like SPAGHETTI.

 **aerithgains** [10:39]  
you strain your spaghetti?

 **sephirothc** [10:39]  
everything's fine, yuffie.

 **zackthegoat** [10:39]  
i mean i'm on my way to the humanities library but i can walk over to the sec 7 dorms if u want me to?

 **cloutstrife** [10:39]  
it's okay, i'll walk over there right now

 **teafalockhart** [10:40]  
cloud, respectfully, do u even know where the humanities library is

 **cloutstrife** [10:40]  
. no

 **zackthegoat** [10:40]  
CLOUD SKHGSLKDGH its okay i'll walk over to u!! send me ur location

 **yeetfie** [10:40]  
omg i love that song

 **aerithgains** [10:40]  
is everything alright cloud???

 **cloutstrife** [10:41]  
yeah., just tired i guess

 **sephirothc** [10:41]  
which is exactly why you should've just let me bring your glasses to you

 **cloutstrife** [10:41]  
didnt u say u were going to meet angeal or genesis whoever somewhere? i can take care of myself.

 **yeetfie** [10:41]  
yikes emoji

 **cloutstrife** [10:41]  
shut up yuffie

 **zackthegoat** [10:42]  
YOU STOLE MY EMOJI JOKE TOO????

 **yeetfie** [10:42]  
zack, idk if u know this, but ur very stealable

 **zackthegoat** [10:43]  
HUH?????

* * *

this is a private conversation with **teafalockhart** and **cloutstrife**!

 **teafalockhart** [10:45]  
okay, what happened

 **cloutstrife** [10:45]  
wdym

 **teafalockhart** [10:45]  
the energy coming from you is way off today

 **cloutstrife** [10:45]  
im fine tifa rlly

 **teafalockhart** [10:46]  
cloud dont even lie to me we're friends. we're LITERALLY best friends. don't lie to me.

 **cloutstrife** [10:46]  
fine

 **cloutstrife** [10:46]  
promise you wont tell seph?

 **teafalockhart** [10:46]  
why? did he hurt you?

 **teafalockhart** [10:46]  
if you don't mind me asking

 **cloutstrife** [10:47]  
no, he wouldn't do that. like, objectively. he doesn't hit people.

 **cloutstrife** [10:47]  
i just. i just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. he acts like we're destined to be but we've only been dating two months and i've only known him for about a year.

 **cloutstrife** [10:48]  
and. idk. i think the spark is gone and it just feels like a drag. its even worse when hes constantly on my ass for every little thing

 **teafalockhart** [10:48]  
cloud, can you answer me this honestly

 **cloutstrife** [10:48]  
???

 **teafalockhart** [10:48]  
do you love him?

 **cloutstrife** [10:49]  
i mean like

 **teafalockhart** [10:49]  
no, no explanation. just a yes or a no. do you still love him? do the two of you as a couple still make you happy?

 **teafalockhart** [10:59]  
cloud?

 **cloutstrife** [11:00]  
i.

 **cloutstrife** [11:00]  
i don't know, tifa.

* * *

**yeetfie** [12:43]  
I'M JUST SAYING. WHAT IF HE HAS A FLING WITH ME AND HE GHOSTS ME FOR GREECE FOR TWO DECADES, THEN OMINOUSLY INVITE ME TO THE WHITE WEDDING OF HIS DAUGHTER, WHO IS ALSO 20 YEARS OLD?

 **wallb** [12:43]  
Yuffie thats just the plot of Mamma Mia

 **aerithgains** [12:44]  
respectfully yuffie but i thought you were aro?

 **vincentval** [12:44]  
theres no actual crush she's talking about befriending the guy who sells elotes on campus every wednesday

 **yeetfie** [12:44]  
WE'RE MAKING A PROS AND CONS LIST OF ME BECOMING THE MISTRESS OF THE ELOTE MAN.

 **zackthegoat** [12:45]  
DISRESPECTFULLY, BEFRIENDING AND BECOMING SOMEBODY'S MISTRESS ARE TWO SEPARATE THINGS

 **yeetfie** [12:45]  
THE ELOTE MAN AND I ARE STAR-CROSSED LOVERS.

 **yeetfie** [12:45]  
THIS COLD, ELOTE-LOVING HEART BEATS ONLY FOR HIM

 **zackthegoat** [12:46]  
dude speaking of elotes cloud's roommate leon just gave me flan when i went to drop off cloud's sunglasses

 **yeetfie** [12:46]  
HOW DARE U COMPARE SCARY MAN LEON TO THE ELOTE MAN.

 **aerithgains** [12:46]  
leon is nice enough tho :^(

 **yeetfie** [12:47]  
HE TOLD ME ABOUT LA LLORONA AND HOW HE SAW HER AS A CHILD. I COULDN'T SLEEP FOR DAYS, MS. GAINSBOROUGH MA'AM!

 **zackthegoat** [12:47]  
YEAH HE PROBABLY DID IT BECAUSE UR ANNOYING. DONT DISRESPECT MY FLAN HUSBAND.

 **sephirothc** [12:47]  
you talk about him as if aerith isn't in this chat

 **aerithgains** [12:48]  
haha it's okay sephiroth! if its for free dessert, i respect the hustle :^)

 **vincentval** [12:48]  
i don't know what's more entertaining: yuffie being scared by la llorona or the current elote man vs flan husband debate

 **zackthegoat** [12:48]  
RIDDLE ME THIS, YUFFIE KISARAGI: WOULD LEON, THE FLAN HUSBAND WITH A BADASS SCAR ON HIS FACE, GHOST YOU AND MOVE TO GREECE FOR 20 YEARS, ONLY TO INVITE YOU TO THE ABBA-THEMED WEDDING OF A 20-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXIST.

 **yeetfie** [12:49]  
KSDLSDHGSDHGLDHLKSBKLANSLFJGHLDGHH

 **yeetfie** [12:49]  
I'M GONNA BE HONEST I DIDNT EVEN KNOW MAMMA MIA WAS JUST ABBA SONGS UNTIL LIKE TWO YEARS AGO

 **zackthegoat** [12:49]  
SWEAR ON YOUR FUCKING YEEZYS????

 **zackthegoat** [12:50]  
LIKE IF I KNOCK ON UR SKULL WOULD IT B HOLLOW. BC UR BRAIN TINY. NOTHING THERE. NO ONE HOME.

 **zackthegoat** [12:50]  
UR HEAD EMPTY. HEAD LICH RALLY EMPTY.

 **teafalockhart** [12:51]  
every time i want to experience a stroke but not die i open this chat

 **yeetfie** [12:51]  
that is the NICEST thing you've EVER said to me

 **zackthegoat** [12:51]  
tifa!! is cloud ok :-((

 **teafalockhart** [12:51]  
yeah, he's just tired

 **zackthegoat** [12:51]  
okay :-(

 **sephirothc** [12:52]  
mind your own business, zack.

 **zackthegoat** [12:52]  
he's my friend?? just because you're his boyfriend doesn't mean that i can't care for him as well? besides i also have a girlfriend, if that's what you're scared about

 **sephirothc** [12:53]  
my apologies. i didn't want to come off that way. i've just been tense is all.

 **aerithgains** [12:53]  
zack :^(

 **sephirothc** [12:54]  
i'll refrain from speaking like that again. you shouldn't be the target of my frustrations, fair.

 **zackthegoat** [12:55]  
anyway

 **zackthegoat** [12:55]  
yuffie can aerith and i go w you to get elotes

 **yeetfie** [12:55]  
sure meet me in front of the campus starbux

 **aerithgains** [12:56]  
i actually just ate, so you two can go without me. sorry zack :^(

 **zackthegoat** [12:57]  
that's fine baby i hope you ate well!! we'll catch up later okay?

 **aerithgains** [12:57]  
of course!<33

* * *

this is a private conversation with **cloutstrife** and **sephirothc**!

 **cloutstrife** [14:55]  
i think zack deserves an apology.

 **sephirothc** [14:57]  
was mine not suitable?

 **cloutstrife** [14:57]  
no because i know you'll do it again if given the opportunity. that's not a real apology

 **cloutstrife** [14:57]  
you might be my boyfriend, but zack is my best friend. he's only concerned about me. you're acting like we're trying to hook up

 **sephirothc** [15:26]  
i only want to protect you.

 **cloutstrife** [15:26]  
from what?

 **sephirothc** [15:27]  
you're my life, cloud. i just want to love you.

 **cloutstrife** [15:27]  
i know, just. dont. dont be so mean towards zack.

 **sephirothc** [15:28]  
i should get going. i have an interview.

 **sephirothc** [15:29]  
i love you.

 **sephirothc** has logged off!

 **cloutstrife** [15:30]  
sephiroth, this isn't love.

 **cloutstrife** has logged off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all!! this turned out being a SUPER long chapter because i kind of went overboard with the literary part in the intro, which i hoped you all liked as well––it kind of brings things together and allows us to zero in on the consciousness of a specific character and it makes thinks Dramatique! it was ALSO a gift to you on behalf of me for my birthday, which is tmrw (sept 5th)! im almost 19 which is cheddar cheese balls crazy...im old
> 
> anyways. zoo wee mama, that was a SPICY chapter. jealousy, elotes, angie being a homewrecker, and squall/leon??? oh my!! do you think seph and cloud are salvageable?? heck, do u think SEPH is salvageable??? lmk what yall think in the comments ;)) chime off in the comments! (also yes, i do hc leon as european spanish. a spicy white, if you will)
> 
> you know the drill by now!! comments and kudos are always welcome, and i do genuinely love reading/replying to your guys' comments and reading what people note down in their bookmarks. stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask!! ily!!!
> 
> \--angie


	5. the defendant is reaching, your honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [12:36]  
> zackary fair, i'm afraid that you've failed no simp september. please pack your knives and go
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which zack's full name isn't zackary, the group chat is taking 10 years off of barret's life, and cloud orders a caramel macchiato again.

**zackthegoat** [12:28]  
i like to think that cloud is the caucasian james of our group

 **yeetfie** [12:28]  
YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW

 **yeetfie** [12:28]  
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT TWITTER GOD CAUCASIAN JAMES LIKE THAT

 **aerithgains** [12:29]  
respectfully, but cloud is NOTHING like caucasian james

 **aerithgains** [12:29]  
he's just the only fully white guy here (i think)

 **vincentval** [12:29]  
honestly? that's fair enough

 **teafalockhart** [12:30]  
that's zack FAIR enough

 **zackthegoat** [12:30]  
I'M BEING BULLIED

 **yeetfie** [12:30]  
there, there, rice cracker-san

 **zackthegoat** [12:30]  
-SAN?????????

 **wallb** [12:30]  
Who the fuck is Caucasian James

 **aerithgains** [12:31]  
barret....u poor, meme-depraved soul

 **vincentval** [12:31]  
did you mean meme-deprived?

 **zackthegoat** [12:31]  
i can't read B(

 **teafalockhart** [12:31]  
he was jared, 19

 **aerithgains** [12:32]  
when his parents built a very strange machine

 **yeetfie** [12:32]  
watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

 **cloutstrife** [12:32]  
ayyy macarena

 **zackthegoat** [12:32]  
WE'VE SUMMONE D HIM

 **cloutstrife** [12:32]  
hi yes im alive unfortunately

 **cloutstrife** [12:32]  
also i think the caucasian james comparison is legitimately the nicest thing you've ever said to me

 **zackthegoat** [12:33]  
WOW......

 **teafalockhart** [12:33]  
cloud now that ur alive..do u wanna go to dunkin to get coffee

 **cloutstrife** [12:33]  
say fucking less i'll meet u outside the bio lab

 **vincentval** [12:35]  
where's sephiroth?

 **zackthegoat** [12:35]  
beats me ://

 **cloutstrife** [12:35]  
he's been studying a lot i wouldn't be surprised if he locked himself in the library

 **aerithgains** [12:35]  
poor seph :^( tifa can you get me something from dunkin? i'm in a lecture right now but i'll venmo you back

 **teafalockhart** [12:36]  
don't worry! my treat :)

 **aerithgains** [12:36]  
thank you /o\

 **zackthegoat** [12:36]  
AERITH.../o\\...IM WEAK

 **yeetfie** [12:36]  
zackary fair, i'm afraid that you've failed no simp september. please pack your knives and go

 **zackthegoat** [12:36]  
MY NAME ISNT EVEN ZACKARY???? 

**wallb** [12:37]  
Its not?

 **zackthegoat** [12:37]  
NO IT'S JUST ZACK FAIR IT SAYS SO ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE

 **yeetfie** [12:37]  
I'M GONNA NEED SOME RECEIPTS, YOUR HONOR

 **vincentval** [12:38]  
it's the lack of evidence for me, your honor

 **zackthegoat** [12:38]  
KSJDHVKSDHGIDHG???

 **aerithgains** [12:39]  
not you saying my client is guilty????

 **teafalockhart** [12:39]  
"this you?" i say as i present evidence

 **cloutstrife** [12:39]  
my client didn't kill the victim your honor, but you're not ready for that discussion

 **wallb** [12:40]  
You all are taking 10 years off my life

 **aerithgains** [12:40]  
don't worry you're not gonna die im speaking it into existence<333

 **zackthegoat** [12:41]  
HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW MUCH I DESPISE ALL OF YOU

 **zackthegoat** [12:41]  
(except u aerith, ily)

 **yeetfie** [12:41]  
DISGUSTING. THE DEFENDANT IS GUILTY OF FIRST DEGREE SIMPING. LOCK HIM UP.

 **zackthegoat** [12:41]  
AT LEAST SHE WON'T ABANDON ME FOR GREECE, YUFFIE.

 **yeetfie** [12:42]  
ONE TIME? I MAKE A MAMMA MIA REFERENCE ONE TIME AND THIS IS MY LEGACY??

 **yeetfie** [12:42]  
ONE OF THESE DAYS I MIGHT JUST ACTUALLY BLOCK YOU, MR. ZACKARY FAIR

 **zackthegoat** [12:42]  
THAT'S ZACK THE GOAT TO YOU

* * *

the autumn breeze was gentle to cloud and tifa as they stood in line to the coffee and donut shop across the street from the university campus. both their phones buzzed away from the group chat's shenanigans as the crisp autumn wind blew by and tickled whatever exposed legs or arms it could. even though it was the afternoon, the sky was gloomy and grey as clouds hovered in the atmosphere. cloud could already smell the warm pumpkin spice in the coffee shop just barely visible with his contact prescription (which was nearing the negatives, unfortunately but humorously), and he noticed a new scarf on tifa's neck in all of its orange and white-flower glory. he paused. tifa didn't usually wear scarves. cloud shook his head and breathed out; he had been told that he had a habit for overthinking, and, really, the scarf could've been a one-time thing for the chilly fall afternoon.

" cloud, you okay? "

tifa's voice broke cloud's train of thought. he shifted his gaze to her and shrugged as he leaned against the metal pole, with his hands in his pockets.

" i'm fine, " he said. he glanced at tifa again to gauge her reaction before continuing. " i mean, i'm better than i was a month ago. "

" has sephiroth finally got off your case? " tifa said as the crosswalk light turned white. the two crossed uneventfully, with cloud going at a leisurely pace, and tifa walking briskly beside him.

" yeah, " cloud finally said as they reached the other side of the street. they continued walking, up and over the bridge that lead into an outdoor mall space parallel to their university campus. they had completed the route many times before with zack and aerith, and cloud had crossed it many times with himself and sephiroth on an impromptu lunch date. now, though, he noticed, felt different. he felt free, but it wasn't a true, liberating type of "free". no, it was more of a mock freedom––of a freedom that didn't believe itself to be truly free. sephiroth flashed in his mind, his figure hunched over a book with a spiteful glare on his face. perhaps he should run back to him––apologize for everything. perhaps sephiroth was right, and the others *were* jeopardizing their relationship. perhaps––

" cloud, where are you going? we're here. "

it was always someone else that pulled cloud from his inner thoughts. he grimaced at the realization.

" yeah, sorry, " he mumbled. he entered the shop quietly, with a mumbled 'thanks' to tifa, who was holding the door open.

they stood there in awkward silence, with tifa giving cloud a concerned glance or two, and cloud squinting at the menu to see what type of coffee he would drink way too slowly today. no words were exchanged between them, and the normal trifle about who would pay was more mellow than usual (tifa ended up paying for the both of them, just like always). as they stood to the side and waited for their (and aerith's) orders to be done, tifa stepped in front of cloud and crossed her arms.

" are you thinking about him again? " she asked, one eyebrow raised.

cloud opened his mouth to speak, but closed it soon after and looked away. tifa sighed as she shook her head. hands calloused from one-too-many shifts as a trainer at the campus gym found their way to cloud's dainter-than-most shoulders. cloud's cerulean blue gaze met tifa's familiar, earthy look.

" cloud, he's living in your head rent free right now! " tifa said. cloud winced at her tone, and immediately lockhart softened herself and let him go. she sighed as she shook her head, electing to put her hands on her hips instead of strife's shoulders. " you know, i think you two should sort things out. i mean...you can't expect anything to change if you don't talk to him, you know! "

" you think i don't know that? " cloud's voice sounded sharper than anticipated, and tifa's hurt look only cut cloud deeper. he sighed and pushed past her as gently as he could to reach for their drinks. " i dunno. i...don't want him to get mad. "

they left, and cloud handed tifa her drink as an unspoken olive branch. she smiled at him and took it graciously before shaking her head.

" dude, who gives a crap about him? " tifa asked. cloud's reaction elicited a small laugh from lockhart as she continued. " i mean––i know he's your boyfriend and all, but...he sounds more like a romantic interest instead of a friend, first and foremost. you gotta be friends with someone before you can be in a relationship. "

" i hate it when you're right, " cloud admitted with a sigh as they crossed the street. in the distance, he could see a pink boy and a blue varsity jacket––aerith and zack were waiting on the steps of the main office for their coffee (well, aerith's coffee; zack detested the bitter taste of anything java).

" well, mr. "when-i'm-dead-in-ten-years", you'll appreciate me when i help us live to 20 years from now, " tifa retorted with a laugh. her eyes met aerith's, and cloud could've sworn he saw her light up. he dismissed the thought; it was probably his overactive imagination.

tifa looked back at him soon enough to ask for aerith's coffee before she looked at the drink tray in a peculiar way.

" wait, what did you get? " she asked.

cloud looked down at the drink tray, then up back towards zack. a ghost of a smile graced his lips as he looked back to tifa.

" a caramel macchiato. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, peeking out from my hole like a groundhog: h-hey yall
> 
> i'm back after four days of not updating LMAO my apologies. i took my birthday weekend off and then i got lazy. i am now 19, and i cannot read. this is why the chapter took so long to update LMAOOO
> 
> so i've decided that this bad boy will have 20 chapters (i seriously contemplating having 69 chapters because nice, but then i decided that i didn't feel like dying, so i reduced it to 20) and i've planned the skeleton for the future chapters out already. oh boy oh boy are you in for a ride. hopefully you'll stick by for most of it!!
> 
> this is not beta-read in any way so i apologize i'm running on half a dunkin donut's coffee and no will to live, so i'm gonna end this author's note here. kudos and comments are always appreciated; i find great joy in interacting with you all!! thank you so much for reading and i'll see you soon. bye bye!
> 
> \-- angie


	6. boy we are literally on a rock hurtling through space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **aerithgains** [10:24]  
> the "a" in aerith stands for abolish the police <33
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which vincent seeks to abolish the dmv, zerith name a dog harry styles, and cloud gets the emotional support he's never asked for, but always wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible tw––toxic sephiroth

**zackthegoat** [10:23]  
[SMACKING POTS AND PANS TOGETHER] ANARCHY!!!!!

 **teafalockhart** [10:23]  
ZACK IM DEADDDD

 **yeetfie** [10:24]  
WHEN I ASKED FOR HELP WITH MY CREATE-A-GOVERNMENT ASSIGNMENT I DIDN'T MEAN THIS

 **yeetfie** [10:24]  
ANYTHING BUT THIS

 **aerithgains** [10:24]  
the "a" in aerith stands for abolish the police <33

 **zackthegoat** [10:24]  
babe that is single handedly the BEST thing you've ever said. im getting that tattoo'd

 **vincentval** [10:25]  
while we're abolishing the police could we possibly also abolish the dmv? just a concept

 **teafalockhart** [10:25]  
I SECOND THAT PROPOSITION

 **yeetfie** [10:25]  
in the united states of wutai we will have no police. we will judge criminals based on whether dogs like them or not. except for zack, who will immediately be found guilty of any and all accusations against him

 **aerithgains** [10:25]  
harry styles will be judge, jury, and executioner

 **zackthegoat** [10:25]  
YOU CAN SILENCE ME, BUT YOU CANNOT SILENCE THE TRUTH

 **yeetfie** [10:25]  
HARRY STYLES?????

 **zackthegoat** [10:26]  
OH, YOU HAVENT HEARD?

 **aerithgains** [10:26]  
zack and i got a dog! well, more like zack wanted a dog, but i wanted to be a mother, so we say we have joint custody over the dog

 **aerithgains** [10:26]  
he's an alaskan malamute puppy and i named him harry styles<33

 **zackthegoat** [10:27]  
I STILL CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY TOLD THE SHELTER HIS NAME IS HARRY STYLES

 **wallb** [10:27]  
I might bring Marlene over to play with Harry Styles. I want her to get to know animals

 **wallb** [10:27]  
But anyway are we abolishing the DMV? I third that idea

 **vincentval** [10:27]  
i've created a movement

 **teafalockhart** [10:27]  
how does it feel like to be god?

 **vincentval** [10:28]  
great, thanks for asking

 **yeetfie** [10:28]  
what's a god to a nonbeliever

 **teafalockhart** [10:28]  
BYE

 **zackthegoat** [10:28]  
speaking of god wheres cloud

 **yeetfie** [10:29]  
god is a white man???

 **zackthegoat** [10:29]  
I...I MEAN. THE DEVIL.

 **teafalockhart** [10:29]  
nice save zack. u know ur audience

 **cloutstrife** [10:30]  
im alive :/

 **zackthegoat** [10:30]  
no...no ":/"....we r glad ur here....

 **vincentval** [10:30]  
we're glad to have you here, cloud

 **wallb** [10:30]  
Yeah man

 **yeetfie** [10:31]  
cloud lovetrain? grody

 **yeetfie** [10:31]  
i simply tolerate u, claudius strife

 **cloutstrife** [10:31]  
honestly i'll take it

 **aerithgains** [10:32]  
awww cloud love train! we love you cloud!!<33

 **teafalockhart** [10:32]  
yeah we all miss you when you're not here!!

 **cloutstrife** [10:33]  
what is this. disgusting

 **cloutstrife** [10:33]  
but yeah i appreciate it

 **vincentval** [10:34]  
sephiroth's been a bit quiet too. is everything okay?

 **teafalockhart** [10:34]  
i mean i wouldn't say its okay???

 **sephirothc** [10:34]  
then you needn't say anything at all.

 **yeetfie** [10:34]  
NEEDN'T??????

 **sephirothc** [10:34]  
i'm sorry if cloud and i have caused you worry. it was not my intention to suddenly disappear. i've simply had exams and presentations, and so i took it upon myself to study for them. that's all.

 **cloutstrife** [10:35]  
sephiroth, where are you

 **sephirothc** [10:35]  
why do you ask? last time i checked, you said you needed space.

 **cloutstrife** [10:35]  
. i guess.

 **yeetfie** [10:40]  
.

 **yeetfie** [10:40]  
so who wants elotes? i know a guy

* * *

**teafalockhart** has created a group chat with **cloutstrife** , **zackthegoat** , and **2 others**.

 **cloutstrife** [10:41]  
wh

 **teafalockhart** [10:42]  
cloud, this is intervention. we need to talk

 **cloutstrife** [10:42]  
about what?

 **aerithgains** [10:43]  
tifa told us about the situation with you and sephiroth, and because we're your friends, we wanted to make sure we talked to you at least once :^(

 **wallb** [10:44]  
Cloud if you're not happy with Sephiroth I don't blame you but you need to do something about it

 **teafalockhart** [10:44]  
or, at least let us do something about it. we can't just sit here and claim that we're friends but let you sit through that toxic relationship

 **cloutstrife** [10:44]  
i really don't appreciate you butting into my business. i can handle this myself.

 **zackthegoat** [10:45]  
can you really, tho?

 **cloutstrife** [10:45]  
yeah i can.

 **zackthegoat** [10:45]  
cloud, dude. don't even try to lie to us or to yourself

 **zackthegoat** [10:45]  
we all see how your attitude totally dipped after i made the group chat and we all see how sephiroth acts around you

 **zackthegoat** [10:46]  
i know from angeal and genesis too dude, when you and seph studied with them the other day. like even people outside of our circle noticed your drop in attitude ever since sephiroth started acting up.

 **wallb** [10:47]  
Exactly. Cloud we're not idiots we all notice how tense you are after talking about Sephiroth

 **aerithgains** [10:47]  
we care about you a lot cloud!! we just want to you to know that if you feel like you should leave him then we'll be here to support you and protect you!

 **teafalockhart** [10:48]  
cloud, i know you always want to do things on your own, but we're your friends for a reason

 **teafalockhart** [10:48]  
please don't shut us out

 **teafalockhart** [10:50]  
cloud?

 **cloutstrife** [10:51]  
i know you guys care about me. i do

 **cloutstrife** [10:52]  
i just...have so much time with sephiroth and like if i break up with him what? a waste of time?

 **zackthegoat** [10:53]  
FIRST OFF. you and seph have been dating for what? 3 months now?

 **zackthegoat** [10:54]  
boy we are literally on a rock hurtling through space and you're hesitant to leave a guy who doesn't even RESPECT you because you're afraid of it being labeled as "wasted time"? who gives a fuck! who literally gives a fuck!!

 **zackthegoat** [10:54]  
is sephiroth REALLY that important to you that you'd let yourself be run over by him OVER and OVER again?

 **wallb** [10:55]  
Exactly who gives a crap about him? He doesn't owe you anything and you don't owe him anything

 **wallb** [10:55]  
Consent is important in a relationship and you don't gotta give him it forever. You can always take that shit back period

 **aerithgains** [10:56]  
i support the two guys above me. cloud, let's take love out of the equation. if he even *respected* you, he wouldn't be acting the way he is now. he's way too smart to not know that his actions are hurting you––maybe he doesn't know how bad, but he's not an idiot either. he has to have noticed. and that's the thing is that he's *continuing* this behavior even though he sees and we all see that its hurting you

 **aerithgains** [10:56]  
im not going to sit here and act like i know what you should do, but i'm just asking you (and i think we all are asking you) to reconsider or work it out. we hate seeing you in pain, cloud

 **cloutstrife** [10:57]  
i.

 **cloutstrife** [10:57]  
i hate that you guys are right. i don't want to admit but. you're right.

 **cloutstrife** [10:57]  
no matter what happens, you'll all still be here, right

 **wallb** [10:57]  
What kind of question is that? Your white ass is always welcome at me and Marlene's place

 **zackthegoat** [10:58]  
BRO do you even have to ask of course we are! ur cloud fucking strife ur the coolest caucasian james on the block

 **aerithgains** [10:59]  
cloud we all care for you and love you! of course we'll still be there! you're our friend

 **teafalockhart** [10:59]  
cloud you're our friend we'll be there with you no matter what. if you ever wanted to get rid of us you're a bit late for that

 **cloutstrife** [11:00]  
. thank you all. i'm sorry i worried you all.

 **cloutstrife** [11:00]  
seriously. thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO I MEANT TO WRITE THIS EARLIER BUT I WAS APPLYING FOR SCHOLARSHIPS. VENMO ME MONEY PLEASE.
> 
> anyways welcome back to sephiroth and cloud have issues! i'm thinking next chapter will make or break sephicloud, and i'm expecting it to be a long one, so that's why this one is on the shorter side. im also back on my late-night posting, so if this isn't coherent or as funny that's why LOL
> 
> thank you all for your engagement and continued support of this work! i'm trying my best to provide you all the most story-filled crackfic shenanigans with each chapter. kudos, comments, and all other forms of engagement are greatly appreciated, and i'll talk to you all soon! stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask!
> 
> \-- angie


	7. yall need to stop being sad and just do c*ke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [14:29]  
> KISS(aragi) THIS ASS, FAIR.
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which barret has some thoughts about bigfoot, sephiroth and cloud call it quits, and tifa apologizes to zack without him there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw––possible emotional cheating, breaking up, mentions of parental abandonment

it hurt sephiroth to see cloud so sad.

their relationship was rocky––no, "rocky" didn't even begin to describe it. no, it was toxic. it was a raging dumpster fire, and sephiroth knew he was the gasoline and the match. to say anything else would be to beat around the bush––to lie, upfront. it wasn't like he could hide from the truth anymore, anyway––at least, not with cloud's shaking frame sitting right beside him in the passenger seat. the blonde boy––a boy he had loved too hard and too fast––filled the empty car with his sobs. it pierced sephiroth to his very core, and yet nothing showed in his eyes and on his face as he glanced at the rear view mirror. he cursed himself. his sudden disposition towards apathy confounded him yet again. now, of all times, he could not give cloud the emotion––the empathy, the visible care––that he wanted to. it was pathetic, really, how downhill things had gone. to think that his and cloud's relationship was once so...so beautiful.

he remembered meeting cloud strife. the other was a freshman at midgar university, where sephiroth himself was a sophomore in the neurobiology program. he felt stifled, to say the least. he was not allowed yet to reach his full potential; his classes were mere review of research and studies he had conducted himself over the summers before. he had no friends, save the oddball english major genesis rhapsodos and his partner in crime, psychology major angeal hewley. he was, by all accounts, miserable. he was lonely, unstimulated, and sad. then, he met cloud, when the young freshman signed up for tutoring with the biology department, and sephiroth was assigned to him. he fondly recalled meeting the young man for the first time––god, he had seared the memory into his brain forever. he even remembered cloud's green scarf. he wondered where it had gone.

his favorite memory was the moment he started falling in love with cloud strife. it was somewhere else in the other's first year at university. yes, he remembered now. it was those eyes. sephiroth savored the memory of the other's eyes––oh, those bright blue eyes, and the way they reflected the afternoon's bright sunlight––lighting up when they talked. he remembered tutoring cloud in the basic biology and chemistry courses all biology freshmen were required to take. he remembered sitting in the library with cloud late at night going over chemical equation after chemical equation, and, with a defeated sigh, uttering something along the lines of, "cloud, you're smart, but i don't think you'll pass this midterm". he remembered the freshman's defeated laughter, and a proposal to go raid the food hall for mediocre ice cream. he had never liked ice cream until then.

their relationship had only flourished from then. there was a time, long forgotten, where cloud wouldn't sob in a car like he was not, but he would smile––truly smile and laugh––whenever sephiroth made a social fool out of himself. they were both introverts, sure, but sephiroth found cloud bringing him slowly out of his shell, sometimes with disastrous results, but each time better than the last. it was through cloud that sephiroth met everyone else. first, there was tifa and barret. then, zack and aerith. vincent, yuffie––sephiroth found himself counting more people that cloud had brought into his life than vice versa. for the first time in a while, sephiroth felt...happy. he was fulfilled. his heart was full, and he was beginning to trust cloud with all of his pain, all of his woes––and cloud listened. cloud strife listened to him, and never saw him for anything different than what he wanted to be. sephiroth only fell deeper in love.

he was elated when cloud strife agreed on "one date" as payment for an impromptu tutoring session during strife's summer courses, three months ago. he had tried to play it off as a joke, but cloud was smarter than he looked, and wasn't deceived. they went to a small cafe down the street from the university, and sephiroth never wanted to forget the soft touch of their hands and cloud's bashful face. that day was the best day in sephiroth's life. too often did he reminisce about how soft strife's lips were when they kissed outside of the sector 7 dorm entrance. that was four months ago.

if he had to pinpoint the moment it all started to crumble, it would be when his mother suddenly packed up and disappeared. it was a harrowing thing, to wake up and find his mother gone. numerous phone and facetimes calls later, and sephiroth still heard her piercing voice, and their demands for him to never speak to her again––for them never to reunite for as long as she lived. there was something in there about a father sephiroth had never met. most of it was a blur to sephiroth, anyway. he remembered the call ending. he remembered crying. most prominently of all, he remember swearing that he wouldn't let anyone go like that again.

that's when the jealousy started. he felt himself becoming more and more possessive of strife. if he was simply holding cloud's hand before, he was now wrapping his arms around the boy's tense body and whispering toxicity into his ear. perhaps––no, it was definitely exacerbated by zack's impromptu group chat. of course sephiroth was aware that cloud found great joy in his friends, but the way that he and zack interacted in the chat somehow made his blood boil.

zack––why was he so jealous of zack, he pondered. zack had a girlfriend; there was no logical explanation for his sudden spite of the fair boy: zack was everything sephiroth was not. in hindsight, sephiroth should've saw it coming. cloud looked at zack with smiles and laughter that even sephiroth found strange and unseen. the two had always been close, even before sephiroth came into the picture. with the group chat, zack's perfection––his shine––became ever more clear to sephiroth. it became not a question of why would cloud choose zack over him, but instead why _wouldn't_ cloud choose zack. the realization was bitter in sephiroth's mouth. he swore he would never let anyone go like his precious mother did, but here was cloud, slipping through his fingers like loose sand.

cloud's hiccups and residual tears brought sephiroth back to reality. here he was again, pondering what _could have_ been as opposed to what _was_. he wasn't in the library with a failing-chemistry version of cloud. he wasn't in his home, now left empty by the woman who given him life, then abandoned him. he was in his car with cloud strife beside him, who cried out like sephiroth had personally stabbed him with a sword. he could barely gain the courage to glance at the blonde without feeling a sharp emotional pain of his own as he watched the other struggle to speak. it choked sephiroth as much as it did cloud, this emotional pain. he sat there, quietly, before he reached out. he stopped. he put his hand down. he was not the person who would touch cloud anymore, he realized.

" i understand, " sephiroth finally spoke. his mouth felt dry, like cotton. he realized how tense he was, and failed still to relax himself. he took in a deep breath. " cloud...let's bring you home. i'm sorry. i...have no excuses. let's...let's bring you home. "

they drove around in silence. the hum of the heater was the only noise as sephiroth barely made a red light. he supposed cloud had fallen asleep from crying as he swerved out of the way of a brake-checking car. he glanced at the boy he once loved––no. it wasn't as if sephiroth stopped loving him. sephiroth wasn't sure if he could *ever* stop loving cloud strife. he pulled into the parking structure, where he saw zack, aerith, and tifa waiting at the entrance. he felt their dirty glares pierce into him and his every move as he reached over cloud to shake him awake.

" my love, " he whispered. " it's time for us to go our separate ways. "

sephiroth never stopped loving cloud. he only realized that the only thing he could do out of love was let him go.

* * *

this is a private conversation with **sephirothc** and **cloutstrife**!

 **sephirothc** [22:12]  
did you make it home safely?

 **cloutstrife** [22:15]  
yeah i did

 **sephirothc** [22:15]  
i'm sorry, cloud

 **cloutstrife** [22:18]  
i don't want to talk about it, sephiroth

 **sephirothc** [22:18]  
that's fair. i just want you to know that if you need me, i'll be here

 **cloutstrife** [22:22]  
i know. we agreed that we'd stay friends for the rest of the group right

 **sephirothc** [22:22]  
yes, if zack, aerith, and/or tifa don't crucify me on the spot, that is.

 **cloutstrife** [22:26]  
they'd do so for good reason. you were awful to me, sephiroth.

 **sephirothc** [22:26]  
i know. there's no excuse for my behavior.

 **cloutstrife** [22:34]  
i know there isn't

 **sephirothc** [22:34]  
are you hungry?

 **cloutstrife** [22:40]  
why

 **sephirothc** [22:40]  
i'm in the dining hall.

 **cloutstrife** [22:49]  
i thought you hated the dining hall food

 **sephirothc** [22:49]  
i do. i just wanted to get some ice cream.

* * *

 **wallb** [14:23]  
WHY DO THEY CALL HIM BIGFOOT?

 **zackthegoat** [14:23]  
BARRET JBJSHDGKHDSG

 **wallb** [14:23]  
First off he has two feet. So we should call him Bigfeet.

 **teafalockhart** [14:24]  
IM GONNA START CRYING

 **wallb** [14:24]  
But then his whole body is big. So we should just call him

 **wallb** [14:24]  
BIG?

 **aerithgains** [14:24]  
im laughing so much thank you for this

 **zackthegoat** [14:24]  
BIG SDHSHGLSGHILSGH

 **yeetfie** [14:25]  
BIG....BIG WHAT, THOUGH

 **wallb** [14:25]  
Idk man just...Big.

 **zackthegoat** [14:25]  
BIG BRAIN BARRET. TRIPLE B

 **wallb** [14:25]  
B)

 **teafalockhart** [14:25]  
HE'S LEARNING

 **cloutstrife** [14:25]  
you should ask the lab aid about big next time we have lab triple b

 **wallb** [14:26]  
Man I think Im good

 **aerithgains** [14:26]  
cloud!! are you feeling better??<3

 **vincentval** [14:26]  
what happened?

 **teafalockhart** [14:26]  
idk if thats in our place to tell

 **cloutstrife** [14:27]  
it's fine

 **cloutstrife** [14:27]  
sephiroth and i broke up but we're staying as friends

 **yeetfie** [14:27]  
HUH????????

 **sephirothc** [14:28]  
it's true.

 **zackthegoat** [14:28]  
which i don't necessarily APPROVE of but its Fine its Cool

 **zackthegoat** [14:28]  
we respect ur decision cloud (prayer hands emoji)

 **yeetfie** [14:29]  
YOUR EMOJI MACHINE STILL BROKE???

 **zackthegoat** [14:29]  
STFU???? YOUR ELOTE MAN STILL SEEING U?

 **yeetfie** [14:29]  
YES, ACTUALLY.

 **zackthegoat** [14:29]  
THAT WAS A LOW BLOW AND YOU KNOW IT, YUFFIE

 **yeetfie** [14:30]  
KISS(aragi) MY ASS, FAIR.

 **vincentval** [14:30]  
well i, for one, am glad that we can all remain as friends. i'd hate to have tension at graduation

 **aerithgains** [14:30]  
wait graduation???

 **zackthegoat** [14:30]  
GRADUATION????

 **aerithgains** [14:30]  
you're only a third year though vincent?? if i remember correctly??

 **vincentval** [14:31]  
i'm graduating early to work at an archaeology institute near to lucrecia's family.

 **yeetfie** [14:31]  
FUCK YOU REALLY?

 **teafalockhart** [14:32]  
YOU'RE LEAVING US????

 **cloutstrife** [14:32]  
you're WHAT

 **wallb** [14:32]  
Damn you got a lot of things ahead of you! But pissed that you're gonna leave us here

 **vincentval** [14:32]  
i supposed now was as good of a time as any to tell you

 **vincentval** [14:33]  
i'm sorry. i should've told you guys sooner or not even gone, but lucrecia's dad is really sick, and i was offered a job near her family, so i had to take the opportunity

 **yeetfie** [14:33]  
NOOOOO DILF :(((((( ITS OKAY BUT ALSO FUCK YOU

 **aerithgains** [14:33]  
it's okay vincent!! we'll support you always :^)

 **zackthegoat** [14:33]  
CHOKED ON MY BOBA YUFFIE. THANKS.

 **yeetfie** [14:34]  
yall got BOBA?????? WIHTOUT ME????

 **zackthegoat** [14:34]  
I HAD A FULL STAMP CARD SO I TOOK CLOUD.

 **zackthegoat** [14:35]  
GREMLIN CHILDREN DONT GET BOBA ANYWAY

 **yeetfie** [14:35]  
THIS IS ANTI-YUFFIE PROPAGANDA

 **cloutstrife** [14:35]  
boba (he hates it when i call it bubble tea) tastes better when zack pays for it

 **zackthegoat** [14:35]  
ur learning...good boy

 **cloutstrife** [14:35]  
watch yourself i'll delete the group minecraft world

 **teafalockhart** [14:36]  
YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING DARE

 **sephirothc** [14:36]  
i will give it to zack; you are a gremlin, yuffie.

 **yeetfie** [14:36]  
SHUT IT L'OREAL

 **sephirothc** [14:36]  
i haven't heard that one before...

 **cloutstrife** [14:37]  
this just in, zack almost laughed milk tea out of his nose from l'oreal. quality entertainment thank you yuffie

 **yeetfie** [14:37]  
pay me in boba, strife

 **cloutstrife** [14:37]  
what does that say? i cant read ://

 **yeetfie** [14:38]  
CLOUD

* * *

this is a private conversation between **teafalockhart** and **aerithgains**!

 **teafalockhart** [15:32]  
hey where are you??

 **aerithgains** [15:33]  
i just got out of an office hour! why?

 **teafalockhart** [15:33]  
do you wanna study together? i'm here until 6 waiting for cloud so we can go grab dinner

 **aerithgains** [15:34]  
oh zack wanted to take me to a new tea spot but im sure we can postpone it!

 **teafalockhart** [15:34]  
are you sure? i wouldn't want to interrupt you and zack's time together :(

 **aerithgains** [15:34]  
it's okay tifa<33 don't worry about it!! i'll ask zack if he wants to go to dinner with you and cloud instead if that's okay??<33

 **teafalockhart** [15:35]  
yeah sure! that sounds great

 **teafalockhart** [15:35]  
where are you then? i'll meet you halfway

 **aerithgains** [15:36]  
i'm outside rhapsodos hall :^)<33 we can study outside if you want? it's a warm afternoon and i know you hate the ac unit in the library because its too loud

 **teafalockhart** [15:36]  
sure! stay outside rhapsodos hall then and i'll come to you

 **aerithgains** [15:36]  
i'm wearing the dress you got me, you can't miss me<33

 **teafalockhart** [15:37]  
omg wait im wearing the bandana you got me crazy LMAOOO

 **teafalockhart** [15:37]  
i see you! that dress really suits you

 **aerithgains** [15:38]  
of course, you have good taste! anyways i see you too im walking over heehee <33

 **aerithgains** has logged off!

 **teafalockhart** [15:39]  
you're not even online you're next to me but i can't stop thinking...how are you so cute

 **teafalockhart** [15:40]  
this is so wrong but it feels so right

 **teafalockhart** [15:40]  
im. im so sorry, zack

 **teafalockhart** has logged off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH....OH MAN. 
> 
> are yall okay?? LMAOOO that was a wild ride let me tell u. this isn't the longest chapter but damn its the most jam-packed one. i thought i appropriate to be the seventh chapter for two reasons: 1.) because final fantasy >>> 7 <<< (lmao) and 2.) because 7 is usually a lucky number and this group about to get anything but good luck. sorry not sorry in advance because yall, you got a storm coming.
> 
> so sephiroth and cloud are broken up yes. i feel like this has been boiling for a while, and eventually it just had to explode. i don't think it was violent per-se (because as you saw, sephiroth and cloud still want to remain amicable for the sake of the group), but the relationship definitely did take a toll on cloud. my man just wanted to be free and now that he is...what crimes will he commit...(treason against the state)
> 
> also: what's the deal w aerti?? sure maybe tifa has a liddol (little) crush on aerith that she might feel guilty about, but the feelings aren't going anything past tifa's thoughts...or are they??;)) guess you'll have to find out.
> 
> ALSO DISCLAIMER i do not condone cheating in any shape or form. however, it does make for some great drama, and zack fair's had it too good for too long. that being said, don't cheat on your significant other. ty
> 
> i think that's all the notes i have?? thank you so much for reading and for supporting this fic with your engagement (kudos, comments, shares, subscriptions, bookmarks, etc.)! i really appreciate every single one of you and i look forward to interacting w yall in the comments!! stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! bye bye<3
> 
> ALSO YES I DID CHANGE MY NAME TO CLOUTSTRIFE. WHAT OF IT. jk ily all OKAY BYE FOR REAL
> 
> \-- angie


	8. late nights at the olive garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sephirothc** [03:12]  
> my tongue is delightful, fuck you.
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which zack has a bad experience with branded beef jerky sticks, sephiroth tries his best to cater to late night shenanigans, and barret is thoroughly confused about the aftermath.

**zackthegoat** [02:58]  
GENESIS JUST SWALLOWED A WHOLE SLIM JIM IN FRONT OF ME???

 **yeetfie** [02:58]  
bitch and?? get on his level

 **sephirothc** [02:58]  
if i may, i'm requesting clarification. whole as in the entire thing without chewing, or just the entire thing?

 **zackthegoat** [02:59]  
THE WHOLE THING WITHOUT CHEWING.

 **zackthegoat** [02:59]  
ALSO 'GET ON HIS LEVEL' BITCH I SDLKHGDSKGHG

 **sephirothc** [03:00]  
why is he eating a slim jim this late? moreover, why are you all up this late?

 **cloutstrife** [03:00]  
oh boy 3am

 **yeetfie** [03:00]  
OH BOY 3 AM JKJSJSGHKHFKG

 **zackthegoat** [03:01]  
ANYWAYS...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK GENESIS IN THE EYE AFTER THIS. THE CURSED SLIM JIM INCIDENT.

 **zackthegoat** [03:01]  
SLIMJIMCIDENT, IF YOU WILL

 **sephirothc** [03:02]  
i am equal parts disgusted and intrigued not only by genesis' extensive esophagus abilities, but by the term 'slimjimcident'

 **yeetfie** [03:02]  
i need a genie so i can wish to never read "extensive esophagus abilities" again

 **cloutstrife** [03:03]  
[ breakdancing gently ] are you voring son

 **zackthegoat** [03:03]  
WHA IUEHGUDFHGJK SDGF DJ;LSJ

 **yeetfie** [03:03]  
SCRATCH THAT IWSH I WOULDNT READ PERIOD

 **aerithgains** [03:04]  
what is going on i just woke up to "are you voring son"

 **aerithgains** [03:04]  
nvm just read up. does genesis not like enjoying food

 **yeetfie** [03:04]  
DOE SHEH DDNOT LIEK ENBJOYING FOODODS

 **zackthegoat** [03:04]  
THE RAW ENERGY FROM THE CHAT TONIGHT.....YUFFIE WAS THAT EVEN ENGLISH

 **yeetfie** [03:05]  
it was RAW, UNBRIDLED ENERGY

 **zackthegoat** [03:05]  
ANYWHO HE SAID THAT HE ENJOYS THE FEELING OF IT DOWN HIS THROAT. I HAVE NO IDEA IF HE'S SERIOUS. EITHER WAY, I WILL NO LONGER BE RELAYING MESSAGES TO HIM ABOUT THIS SITUATION.

 **sephirothc** [03:05]  
genesis rhapsodos is a freak of nature.

 **yeetfie** [03:05]  
haven't u been hanging out w him and the other big beef man since the breakup bc ur afraid of tifa

 **zackthegoat** [03:05]  
BIG GBEEF MAN

 **cloutstrife** [03:06]  
[ piroutte ] are you beefing, son

 **aerithgains** [03:06]  
isn't it pirouette?

 **cloutstrife** [03:06]  
respectfully, die

 **aerithgains** [03:06]  
im one step ahead of you B^)

 **zackthegoat** [3:07]  
HUH???????

 **sephirothc** [03:07]  
anyways, "big beef man" is angeal, and yes, i've been associating myself with them more recently. i'd rather not have tifa watching my every move in the food court with you guys (even if the breakup was two and a half months ago).

 **sephirothc** [03:07]  
cloud, aerith. respectfully, are you okay?

 **aerithgains** [03:07]  
sure!

 **cloutstrife** [03:07]  
physically? i'm fine. emotionally? im bruised

 **cloutstrife** [03:08]  
jk im fine i just woke up

 **zackthegoat** [03:08]  
J-JUST WOKE UP?

 **yeetfie** [03:08]  
EXPLAIN???

 **cloutstrife** [03:08]  
last night squall left some gummies in our communal snack box so i had some and they were really fucking good. then i read the box and they were melatonin gummies ://

 **cloutstrife** [03:09]  
so ya. i just woke up

 **zackthegoat** [03:09]  
IS THAT WHY YOU WERE OFF THE GRID TODAY???? YOU WERE SLEEPING????

 **sephirothc** [03:09]  
you slept from last night until now? over 24 hours?

 **cloutstrife** [03:10]  
honestly im a bit impressed with myself i havent slept this much since the womb

 **zackthegoat** [03:10]  
omg ur like sleeping beauty. no homo

 **yeetfie** [03:11]  
bitch he's not beauty he's just white

 **cloutstrife** [03:11]  
ow, but valid

 **aerithgains** [03:11]  
cloud that's...not good...

 **cloutstrife** [03:11]  
u act surprised im the ceo of hating myself

 **cloutstrife** [03:11]  
exhibit a: i've had the devil's tongue down my throat

 **sephirothc** [03:12]  
my tongue is delightful, fuck you.

 **yeetfie** [03:12]  
KSDJNKSG ITS THE FACT THAT SEPHIROTH RESPONDED TO "THE DEVIL" FOR ME

 **zackthegoat** [03:12]  
guys...dont crucify me

 **cloutstrife** [03:12]  
no promises

 **zackthegoat** [03:12]  
OW????

 **zackthegoat** [03:12]  
but. but i kind of want to try swallowing a slim jim whole now.

 **aerithgains** [03:13]  
ZACK????

 **zackthegoat** [03:13]  
JUST TO SEE IF I COULD

 **cloutstrife** [03:13]  
okay, but why was genesis up at 3am swallowing slim jims whole

 **zackthegoat** [03:13]  
WE WERE WATCHING THE BACHELOR AND HE JUST SAID "zack. look at this" AND HE DID IT.

 **sephirothc** [03:14]  
no spoilers; genesis is trying to get me to watch it.

 **cloutstrife** [03:14]  
the thought of sephiroth watching the bachelor gave me a fucking storke

 **yeetfie** [03:14]  
STORKE???????

 **aerithgains** [03:15]  
storke....

 **zackthegoat** [03:15]  
BITCH IT GOT U A BABY????

 **sephirothc** [03:15]  
does this mean i have to pay child support?

 **cloutstrife** [03:16]  
u know what? im eating the rest of the melatonin gummies. good night

 **zackthegoat** [03:16]  
CLOUD FDKJBVDFNSD NOOOOO

 **zackthegoat** [03:16]  
anyways yall go to bed....its late....why r u still up....

 **sephirothc** [03:16]  
braiding my hair to go to bed.

 **aerithgains** [03:17]  
i went to get some water and stayed for the chaos<33

 **yeetfie** [03:18]  
im working on a puppet theatre

 **zackthegoat** [03:18]  
HUH????

 **sephirothc** [03:18]  
elaborate, if you will.

 **yeetfie** [03:19]  
LMAOOOOO I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS

 **yeetfie** [03:19]  
I'M USING PUPPETS TO EXPLAIN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN POLITICS FOR A VIDEO MIDTERM

 **aerithgains** [03:19]  
why puppets though?

 **yeetfie** [03:19]  
its a metaphor for politicians being puppets of corporate interests

 **yeetfie** [03:20]  
im kidding its bc puppets r easier and more fun to make

 **sephirothc** [03:20]  
both solid pieces of logic.

 **zackthegoat** [03:20]  
OK BUT CLOUD GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP??? IM NOT PLAYING 8BALL WITH YOU

 **cloutstrife** [03:21]  
coward

 **zackthegoat** [03:21]  
SKDNVSLSGH?????

 **aerithgains** [03:22]  
this has been fun and all, but in light of zack's comment can we all please go to sleep? it's 3am :^(

 **cloutstrife** [03:22]  
oh boy three a.

 **yeetfie** [03:22]  
[ he is executed by firing squad ]

 **zackthegoat** [03:23]  
i was almost executed by firing squad once

 **cloutstrife** [03:23]  
zack? what the fuck?

 **sephirothc** [03:24]  
i beg your pardon, zack?

 **yeetfie** [03:24]  
then beg, fool. beg before the throne i (and zack i guess) sit on. lest ye be executed by my GLOCK.

 **zackthegoat** [03:24]  
I.....

 **zackthegoat** [03:25]  
GOOD NIGHT.

* * *

 **wallb** [09:23]  
Y'all what the fuck was going on last night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, posting this after an impromptu week-long break:
> 
> haha okay hey yall...how yall doing....this is kind of an uneventful filler chapter because the last few have been super super heavy?? so i decided to take some jokes that were in the drafts and cram them into a late-night meme potluck while also trying to feature sephiroth a bit more since i feel like i reduced him to a plot point instead of a character so...so ya. how yall doing. lmk in the comments LMAOOOOOO
> 
> also to clarify: this conversation takes place two and a half months after sephiroth and cloud's big break. i feel like tifa and aerith are still a bit protective of cloud, but i honestly think everyone's trying to act normal especially because in the previous chapter cloud and sephiroth established that they still wanted to be friends (especially because sephiroth will never stop loving cloud even if it has to be platonic). so...ya LOL
> 
> anyways, as always i love to interact w you all so thank u for all forms of engagement, whether it be kudos, bookmarks, comments, or subscriptions! stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! bye <33
> 
> \-- angie


	9. mike wahousekey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cloutstrife** [10:54]  
> no need to get so petty over some dap
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which sephiroth gets petty over having a dry ass coochie, yuffie gets no smoothie privileges, and zack begins to falter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw;; mentions of menstruation; not essential to the plot

**teafalockhart** [10:43]  
can someone tell me WHY i just witnessed zack zoom by the starbucks in heelies

 **cloutstrife** [10:43]  
he's straight zootin'

 **yeetfie** [10:44]  
STRAIGHT ZOOTIN I HATE YOU

 **cloutstrife** [10:44]  
that'll do that'll do

 **sephirothc** [10:44]  
funny enough, i was about to come on to ask the same thing. he just sped by the library right as i was walking out.

 **zackthegoat** [10:45]  
WALKING FOR CHIMPS

 **zackthegoat** [10:45]  
CHUMPS*

 **teafalockhart** [10:45]  
ur a goat??

 **zackthegoat** [10:46]  
SHUT THE FUCK UR MOUTH

 **vincentval** [10:46]  
hey, zack? you also know what's for chumps? falling majestically onto your ass

 **zackthegoat** [10:46]  
I WONT FALL DON T WORRY

 **wallb** [10:46]  
I would like to see a video if he does

 **yeetfie** [10:47]  
same, but ZACK. WHY DO U EVEN NEED HEELIES. WHY DONT U JUST WALK

 **zackthegoat** [10:47]  
I AM A MAN ON A MISSION. WALKING IS TOO SLOW.

 **aerithgains** [10:47]  
i started my period early so he went to get me pads from the campus mart while i stay in the bathroom :^(

 **teafalockhart** [10:47]  
damn can somebody love me like that

 **zackthegoat** [10:48]  
ALMOST THERE BBUYGOIR

 **cloutstrife** [10:48]  
bbuy What

 **wallb** [10:48]  
Bbuy = Best Buy come on pretty boy

 **zackthegoat** [10:49]  
BABYGIRL*

 **yeetfie** [10:49]  
YUCK

 **sephirothc** [10:49]  
this begs the question: why do people like being called baby or babe, but we so widely make fun of daddy kinks? make up your mind: am i your father or not?

 **yeetfie** [10:50]  
THAT TOOK THE FUCKING AIR OUT OF MY LUNGS

 **cloutstrife** [10:50]  
ok, normally you're not that funny. who gave u that joke

 **sephirothc** [10:51]  
thank you for the benefit of the doubt, cloud.

 **sephirothc** [10:51]  
socializing with angeal and the other one more have changed me in ways i cannot explain. so, perhaps my sense of humor has increased.

 **vincentval** [10:51]  
genesis...not "the other one"...genesis

 **sephirothc** [10:52]  
yes, that.

 **zackthegoat** [10:53]  
THAT KBDSFHD

 **cloutstrife** [10:53]  
who hurt him and did aerith get her pads

 **zackthegoat** [10:53]  
YEAH she did

 **zackthegoat** [10:53]  
also i think genesis called his coochie dry or something idk i left the room as soon as they got online with seph to play among us

 **zackthegoat** [10:54]  
so basically he petty

 **yeetfie** [10:54]  
HIS COCIHEIJF EDRY FKSBKJGHAKEGRHGK

 **cloutstrife** [10:54]  
no need to get so petty over some dap

 **wallb** [10:54]  
DAP LMAOOOO you're funny cracker

 **cloutstrife** [10:55]  
thanks i'll send you the bill

 **wallb** [10:55]  
Nevermind

 **sephirothc** [10:55]  
comedians, all of you.

 **zackthegoat** [10:56]  
anyways! boys and [ redacted ] do u guys wanna go get jamba juice across the street

 **wallb** [10:56]  
Who's Redacted?

 **zackthegoat** [10:56]  
yuffie B)

 **yeetfie** [10:57]  
OW????

 **cloutstrife** [10:57]  
sure i'll go w u. just got out of class. but i thought you were with aerith

 **zackthegoat** [10:57]  
she went to chem with tifa! so now im bored for the next hour

 **teafalockhart** [10:57]  
i'll bring her back before 9, sir

 **zackthegoat** [10:58]  
thank u...i trust u with my life....

 **vincentval** [10:58]  
zack lucrecia's on jamba juice shift rn. i'll tell her you guys are coming so you can get the hook up

 **zackthegoat** [10:58]  
thank you mama B')

 **vincentval** [10:59]  
nevermind

 **zackthegoat** [10:59]  
TOUGH CROWD.

 **zackthegoat** [10:59]  
MIGHT AS WELL CALL THIS DA ZACK HATE CLUB

 **cloutstrife** [11:00]  
i thought it was already called the zack hate club

 **zackthegoat** [11:00]  
BYE.

* * *

the cold sweat on his smoothie already started to burn frost into zack fair's hands as he and cloud left the health-food establishment (if he could even consider it health-food; he knew he would have to take some insulin to balance out the sugar). they chatted idly about anything and everything, with zack providing energetic responses and cloud the occasional snide remark or two. the day was fair (some may even call it 'zack fair'––kidding; only zack himself would), with a sweet breeze in the air. the sky above was clear, obscured only by a sporadic cloud (strife––okay, zack found himself funnier than he would like to admit) floating by in the sky. it was, for all intents and purposes, a perfect afternoon.

the two young men walked back towards campus without much hassle as their conversation floated organically through topics, ranging from cloud's recent breakup to incompetent teacher aides to absurd academic workloads. they fit together well, zack thought. their conversations sounded natural––not forced in any way. their personalities worked in tandem, with neither of them cutting off the other or veering off a topic before its unspoken expiration date. the two fed off each other; when cloud sounded upset, zack found himself becoming annoyed on the blonde's behalf, and vice versa––when zack became more energetic, he could've sworn he saw cloud's bright blue eyes light up, and a small smile grace his lips.

their campus was beautiful. as soon as they stepped back onto school property, they were greeted by falling leaves, which zack admired as their forms, colored with soft autumn hues, floated around him and laid themselves elegantly on the pavement below them. the air was cool and crisp, but the sun gave a welcome warmth without being too overbearing as it peeked gently through the amber and brown and rust-colored leaves still left on the trees.

eventually, conversation between the two boys circled around to tifa and aerith. all four of them––zack, aerith, tifa, and cloud––had been good friends since their freshmen orientation, and it was not uncommon for all four of them to be seen together at any given time of the school day. the subject of their conversation moving to the two women felt natural to fair––or, at least, it should have. he didn't know why he suddenly tensed, even if he was fine when aerith was around. his mouth suddenly went dry for no reason, to which he took an enthusiastic sip of his overpriced smoothie.

" aerith and tifa sure are hanging out more, huh? " cloud posited as he too took another sip of his smoothie. zack felt the strife boy's eyes on him––how could he not, after all. they were beautiful, even to an outsider with no interest in the boy's fair skin, peppered with the most adorable freckles, and blonde locks, soft to the touch like the feather down of––

he stopped himself. no, those thoughts weren't appropriate. he felt himself flush a bit with shame as he cleared his throat.

" yeah they are, " he agreed as they turned a corner towards the chemistry lecture hall. " you think they'll run off if we try to pull them into this study sesh? "

" you and i both know that there will be no studying done today, " cloud retorted. zack snorted, and he could've sworn that he saw cloud light up.

" yeah, that's true, " zack replied. he breathed in and let out a vocal breath as he felt the air rush out from relaxed lungs. " i mean...they're friends, right? i'm sure there are things that she can tell tifa but not me. and, like, honestly? i respect that. "

zack looked at cloud and elbowed him a bit. the smaller blonde stumbled over a bit, and zack laughed at the faux glare he got from strife. what he wouldn't do to have that playful dirty look at him, just chastising him for all the stupid things––

no, zack thought. stop it, zack.

" i mean, not like she's cheating on me, you know? " he continued. if his voice wavered, cloud didn't notice––or, at least, pretended not to notice. zack took a glance at his face. cloud must've been a damn good actor. he continued quickly, " i trust aerith. if she wants to hang out with tifa, then i don't really care. "

there was a beat of silence between them as they arrived in front of the lecture hall. zack had seen this particular building many times before, despite not being a science major himself. he had many fond memories here, like picking up aerith after lectures, or after a particularly hard exam, to which he would spoil her to dinner that night and a small date to make up for it. he also remembered dropping cloud off at this building during exam week, when the other would attend group study sessions, or picking him up and listening to him complain about another cruddy professor. zack normally felt a particular warmth with those memories, and yet such warmth wasn't there. no, it was replaced with a pit of anxiety and frustration that only grew deeper and deeper the more he dwelled on it. he tightened his lips and gripped his cup a bit tighter as he sat down on a nearby bench. he almost didn't notice cloud take the space adjacent to him, and he almost didn't notice the concerned twinge of the other's strong eyebrows, or the way the other's lips opened, as if to say something, before closing again.

zack sat back with a sigh as he looked up at the sky. there were more clouds since the last time he bothered to look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY 3AM
> 
> hey yall! first of all: HOLY COW we've reached 2k hits?? i've never written something this big and this popular in my life on the internet, and considering that this is my first work in the final fantasy 7 corner of ao3, i'm so grateful that my work has been read so many times by so many people on the internet. i also want to thank yall for 100+ kudos!! ur all are so sweet and ur the reason i continue to stay up until the early morning hours to update this story.
> 
> ok enough mushy stuff, let's talk fic. next chapter...next chapter, oh boy. you guys got a storm coming. this chapter is the calm before the storm, if u will. next chapter will be a doozy but im so excited LMAOOOO. i might not update for a day after this goes up in order to work on it and refine it, but who knows, maybe i'll pull sum shit and type it all in one sitting, not beta-read it, and post it at 3am. i mean thats what i did for this chapter LMAO
> 
> im super tired so im gonna upload this and then dip on over to my bed LOL. as always, engagement (kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, etc.) are always appreciated, and i always look forward to interacting with yall in the comments. thank you all so much for reading, and don't forget to stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! thanks, bye<33
> 
> \-- angie


	10. boyyoass how i had to die over some macNUGGETS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yeetfie** [12:21]  
> gavrilo princip! tell me you didn't assassinate archduke franz ferdinand and set into motion an international domino effect that set world war i into motion, killing at least 40 million military personnel and civilians while priming the stage for world war ii!
> 
>  **cloutstrife** [12:22]  
> nah man i didnt kill anyone i was doing electrical tasks
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which the group makes a bad among us joke, zack listens to heather by conan gray on loop at three a.m., and tifa tastes pina colada chapstick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw;; cheating

the alleyway behind the parking lot was dark and secluded. the air had since turned from an amicable fall breeze to a chilly winter gale––a stark departure from the warm and humid summer days when they first started their affair. it didn't matter much, though. their passion and heat kept them warm enough. they kissed frantically––relentlessly––like they were making up for lost time. pauses were brief as they panted raggedly. they stared at each other, their gazes hungry and desperate, their lips were bruised and swollen, and their hair had been tousled into a wrecked mess on account of the wind. pale skin had become littered with dark splotches with yellow rings, and hands desperately grabbed at hips and chests in an attempt for more––more closeness. the world fell apart around them as they kissed, and then kissed some more. nothing mattered––there was no hour, no person, no relationship that could've separated their hands from each other.

the affair had started in august of that year. it first started with coy glances, with flirtatious jokes that seemed fairly innocuous. the budding infidelity had taken advantage of their existing relationship in complete disregard for its platonic nature; that is to say their romance grew under the guise of their pre-established friendship. late night conversations and intimate moments of hugs and chaste kisses on the other's cheek had brought the jokes veracity. day by day, week by week passed, and they only became more and more entranced with one another. there was not a day––not a waking hour that went by where one of them didn't dream about the other, and a life, a future with them. fantasies unfolded in their inner mind, isolated from morals or obligations or other people. what first started as simple entertaining scenarios turned into complete yearning and desire as the month drew to a close, and yet their pining went by, unnoticed by the crowd around them, and––until later––themselves.

september came and went, and so did the boundaries that lasted between the two. while a relationship was falling apart around them, another between them had grown with more and more desperate heat. innocent-seeming hand-holding had turned into secret grabs at the waist. hands travelled lower and lower during otherwise friendly embraces. glances turned into yearning gazes, and eye contact flickered as they would periodically look at the other's lips. late night conversations over text messages turned into late night rendezvouses to various bars and boba cafes, and would end in intimate and vulnerable conversations outside of one of their apartments. their dialogue was everything they wanted, from serious discourse regarding fear and insecurity, to hopeful ramblings about the future, or even as mundane as the newest installment in a franchise. they completed each other, and it was on those nights that they found themselves sleeping more soundly, with hearts more full than the night before.

october and november passed by with similar patterns, but with increased intensity. gentle hand touches of support had turned into embraces of pure love and adoration, and lighthearted kisses to the cheek had turned into mature kisses on the lips and the neck. they hadn't gone much farther than that, but each encounter had turned to be more passionate than the last. as their intense desire for each other thrived, so did their understanding and adoration of each other. they had hard conversations about them, and what they meant to each other as soon as they could find a moment's reprieve from the chaos of the group chat. more than once did the other stay over in secret from anybody but their other half. that's what they were; they were two halves of one whole. they were each other's best friend and most vulnerable lover. yet, they still hid from the rest of the world––their love was pushed away into a deep, dark corner of the closet. it was like they had put a box over a light. by no means had the light––had their love––been turned off, but it could not be seen by anybody but themselves.

it was the start of december now, and the light from the parking structure just barely illuminated their figures as they continued their physical affections. their hot and warm breath condensed in the cold winter night air, and one of them smiled and giggled before sealing the gap between their lips again. perhaps it was wrong––one of them was in a relationship, after all––and yet it felt nothing but right. every kiss, every touch, every longing look was more than enough to continue to stoke the fire of their love. as they kissed, one of them found their tongue grazing over the bottom lip of their taboo partner. it was sweet, like pineapple, but with a hint of coconut. they smiled into the kiss, and their hearts felt warm as their fingers interlocked together.

the taste in her mouth evoked a fond memory. before, a certain somebody joked that she would put coconut chapstick on her top lip and pineapple on her bottom lip so she could give pina colada kisses. as her supple lips were brought closer to hers, tifa lockhart knew aerith gainsborough wasn't lying.

their kiss broke away as aerith's phone buzzed in her back pocket. tifa had never heard aerith curse, but she could tell the other girl was rather close to breaking her habit as worry and anxiety replaced her previously dazed and infatuated expression. she stayed quiet as aerith spoke quickly, saying how she needed to go immediately, and watched as aerith picked up her red cardigan, which had been haphazardly thrown off her shoulders mere moments before in a fit of passion.

" is it zack? " tifa asked. her voice was quiet, and her guilt must have been evident enough on her face as aerith stood and looked at her with a pitiful expression.

" tifa, please. this isn't your fault, " aerith said quietly. it was silent between them before aerith took in a deep breath. " it's...it's mine. i'm...i'm too scared to tell him, and...because of that...we're...we're here. "

it took much of tifa's mental strength to restrain herself from giving aerith one of her best hugs. it physically pained tifa to see aerith, whose eyes were greener than the greenest of fields, and whose soft, brown locks framed her face in the most beautiful of ways, so dejected and somber. tifa felt her throat tighten as she looked away from the gainsborough girl.

" i can't say that i blame you, " tifa admitted. she licked her lips out of nervousness, only to taste the leftovers of aerith's pina colada chapstick. it broke her heart. " you should go talk to him now. i don't...want him to worry. "

tifa could feel aerith's eyes on her before she heard a sigh come from the brunette. a small "okay, i'll see you soon, then" was uttered before the alley was reduced to silence, save for footsteps that only became more and more quiet as time passed. tifa lockhart stood in the alleyway, alone. she stood there for a beat, internalizing her guilt and mingling it with rationalization of her passion, before she stood too and began to walk back to her dorm. no words were uttered––no monologue relayed in her mind after that, save for one string of words.

" i'm so sorry, zack. "

* * *

_this is a private conversation between **zackthegoat** and **aerithgains**!_

**zackthegoat** [00:23]  
baby are you alright? please pick up

 **aerithgains** [00:23]  
zack, i'm fine, don't worry.

 **zackthegoat** [00:24]  
sorry :((

 **zackthegoat** [00:24]  
i facetimed you twice but got no answer so i got worried. sorry if it bothered you :((((

 **aerithgains** [00:25]  
zack, don't worry about it. i actually need to call you back. we need to talk

 **zackthegoat** [00:25]  
yeah of course! is everything alright?

 **aerithgains** [00:26]  
i'll explain everything soon. what about genesis and angeal? will they get mad at you for talking to me this late?

 **zackthegoat** [00:26]  
it's okay i have my headphones in so they won't hear you. like they don't really care if im talking to myself LMAO it wouldn't be the worst thing that they've heard

 **zackthegoat** [00:26]  
you sound p serious tho. should i close my door?

 **aerithgains** [00:27]  
please. this is...sensitive.

 **zackthegoat** [00:27]  
ok! ready when u r babe :)<3

_**aerithgains** started a call that lasted 1 hour!_

**aerithgains** [01:32]  
i'm really sorry, zack

 **zackthegoat** [01:32]  
like i said, please don't worry about it aerith. it wont change the way you feel

 **zackthegoat** [01:32]  
sure it'll. it'll be weird not calling u babe and stuff but.

 **zackthegoat** [01:33]  
i just wish you told me sooner so i wouldn't have been so hung up over whether or not i had done something wrong in the past few months

 **aerithgains** [01:33]  
i know i should've. i was too scared, and that's not an excuse. you deserve better.

 **zackthegoat** [01:34]  
aerith, you've been so good to me up until now. it's me who should be sorry for doing anything to make you scared or uncomfortable

 **aerithgains** [01:34]  
please don't blame yourself zack. this is my problem, not yours.

 **aerithgains** [01:34]  
i don't want to ask you for anything else, but i have to...can we keep this a secret?

 **zackthegoat** [01:35]  
wdym?

 **aerithgains** [01:35]  
i haven't told anybody i'm a lesbian except tifa

 **zackthegoat** [01:35]  
you havent?

 **zackthegoat** [01:35]  
not that im judging u bc thats none of my business but. yknow

 **zackthegoat** [01:36]  
ok. your secret's safe with me until you're ready to come out

 **aerithgains** [01:37]  
why are you being so kind to me? i cheated on you for months

 **aerithgains** [01:37]  
i hurt you

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
yeah you did but heres the thing

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
before anything else, you're one of my best friends aerith

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
nothing will ever change that

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
so if you think you can get rid of me, you got a big storm coming

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
and i care more about your happiness and your safety than being petty or right or whatever

 **zackthegoat** [01:38]  
you just don't like guys and i happen to be a guy. it's nothing personal, right?

 **zackthegoat** [01:43]  
you ok aerith?

 **aerithgains** [01:44]  
yeah i just

 **aerithgains** [01:44]  
i dont deserve you zack

 **zackthegoat** [01:45]  
exactly! u deserve a badass wife who will never leave you wanting anything

 **zackthegoat** [01:45]  
so go get that (kitty emoji)

 **aerithgains** [01:46]  
even now, you're still so silly towards me. whoever ends up with you is gonna be so lucky

 **aerithgains** [01:46]  
your emojis are still broken?

 **zackthegoat** [01:47]  
. SHUT UP

 **zackthegoat** [01:47]  
n e wayz, you should get some rest. you might not be my gf anymore but i can still tell u to go to sleep

 **aerithgains** [01:48]  
you're right, it's getting late.

 **aerithgains** [01:48]  
thank you for everything zack. i'll pay you back one day, for real.

 **zackthegoat** [01:49]  
don't even worry about it. just being w u is enough. good night!

 **aerithgains** [01:49]  
good night :^)

_**aerithgains** has logged off!_

* * *

_this is a private conversation with **vincentval** and **zackthegoat**!_

**vincentval** [03:23]  
are you ok?

 **zackthegoat** [03:24]  
yeah why do you ask?

 **vincentval** [03:25]  
you've been listening to heather by conan gray for the past 30 minutes

 **zackthegoat** [03:26]  
h-how do u know that

 **vincentval** [03:27]  
i follow you on spotify

 **zackthegoat** [03:28]  
YOU FOLLOW PEOPLE ON SPOTIFY?

 **vincentval** [03:29]  
nevermind. good night zack

 **zackthegoat** [03:29]  
LMAO good night

_**zackthegoat** has logged off!_

_**vincentval** has logged off!_

* * *

**yeetfie** [12:21]  
gavrilo princip! tell me you didn't assassinate archduke franz ferdinand and set into motion an international domino effect that set world war i into motion, killing at least 40 million military personnel and civilians while priming the stage for world war ii!

 **cloutstrife** [12:22]  
nah man i didnt kill anyone i was doing electrical tasks

 **teafalockhart** [12:23]  
idk man bosnian serbs looking mad sus

 **sephirothc** [12:23]  
[gavrilo princip was The Imposter]

 **vincentval** [12:23]  
that exchange gave me heartburn

 **yeetfie** [12:23]  
HEARTBURN?????

 **sephirothc** [12:23]  
would that remark be considered of boomer quality?

 **cloutstrife** [12:24]  
wtf does boomer quality even mean

 **zackthegoat** [12:24]  
i live bitches

 **yeetfie** [12:24]  
well thats a weird definition of boomer quality zackius fair

 **zackthegoat** [12:25]  
nevermind im going back to sleep

 **cloutstrife** [12:25]  
it's 12:25?

 **zackthegoat** [12:26]  
YOU SLEPT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY

 **cloutstrife** [12:26]  
you know what? im not even mad. u win

 **zackthegoat** [12:27]  
wow...i've tamed the cloud

 **zackthegoat** [12:27]  
is that what it feels like to bee God...

 **yeetfie** [12:27]  
to bee or not to bee

 **teafalockhart** [12:28]  
ya like jazz?

 **cloutstrife** [12:28]  
tifa's the imposter. outdated meme

 **vincentval** [12:28]  
this chat is a nightmare

 **sephirothc** [12:28]  
if i learned anything from angeal and genesis, it is that memes have no expiration date.

 **yeetfie** [12:29]  
EXPIRATION DATE SKHLSLDGJSKG

 **yeetfie** [12:29]  
SEPH YOU BE TALKING LIKE A 60 YEAR OLD MAN IN A 21 YEAR OLD'S BODY

 **cloutstrife** [12:29]  
you know who's actually a 60 year old man in a 21 year old's body? reno's boytoy

 **yeetfie** [12:30]  
PITBULL????

 **teafalockhart** [12:30]  
RUDE LMAOOOOO

 **yeetfie** [12:30]  
IM NOT BEING MEAN?????? HE LOOKS LIKE PITBULL??????????

 **zackthegoat** [12:30]  
BITCH R U DENSE...HIS NAME IS RUDE

 **yeetfie** [12:31]  
WHO THE FUCK WOULD NAME THEIR CHILD RUDE.

 **yeetfie** [12:31]  
IMAGINE CARRYING A CHILD FOR NINE MONTHS AND GOING THRU HOURS OF LABOR ONLY TO CALL THEM RUDE.

 **yeetfie** [12:32]  
MAYBE THIS IS WHY HES SO BOOMERY. HE HASN'T HAD FRIENDS HIS AGE BC HE'S NAMED FUCKING RUDE

 **cloutstrife** [12:32]  
ok reno is a bitch but i will not stand for rude slander. he's cool-ish

 **sephirothc** [12:33]  
personally, i think he looks like binging with babish.

 **cloutstrife** [12:33]  
you watch binging w babish?

 **sephirothc** [12:34]  
someone needed to teach me how to cook

 **cloutstrife** [12:34]  
thats fair your food was pretty good

 **wallb** [12:34]  
I know yall did not just compare Rude to Pitbull

 **teafalockhart** [12:35]  
he's mr. worldwide

 **cloutstrife** [12:35]  
honestly i think the only way he gets any meme culture is thru reno

 **sephirothc** [12:36]  
oh, definitely. i was in a lecture with reno and rufus once and reno wouldn't stop watching tiktoks. i can't imagine rude indulging in similar hobbies during lecture.

 **yeetfie** [12:36]  
RUFUS????????

 **yeetfie** [12:37]  
LIKE THAT BITCH FROM KIM POSSIBLE?

 **teafalockhart** [12:37]  
"BITCH" YOU MEAN THE NAKED MOLE RAT??

 **yeetfie** [12:37]  
THAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKER.

 **sephirothc** [12:38]  
unfortunately, there is no naked mole-rat. i'm referring to rufus shinra. he's a third year in the political science program.

 **sephirothc** [12:38]  
he's the son of the dean of students.

 **yeetfie** [12:39]  
my man could be the son of the goddamn president and i wouldn't take him seriously. his name is RUFUS

 **cloutstrife** [12:40]  
his boyfriend tseng is our ra. he's chill but rufus can choke

 **teafalockhart** [12:41]  
wait speaking of ra and roommates, cloud tell leon that the flan i stole from u was fucking bomb

 **cloutstrife** [12:42]  
i was just getting over that fuck you

 **cloutstrife** [12:42]  
but i will

 **yeetfie** [12:42]  
okay but does it outshine the elote man's elotes

 **teafalockhart** [12:43]  
AGAIN W THE ELOTE MAN????

 **yeetfie** [12:44]  
HE WAS THERE FOR ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS, TIFA

* * *

_this is a private conversation between **cloutstrife** and **zackthegoat**!_

**cloutstrife** [13:23]  
are u ok?

 **zackthegoat** [13:23]  
??? why do u ask

 **cloutstrife** [13:23]  
ur vibes r off

 **zackthegoat** [13:24]  
LSKDJVNSLJSG

 **zackthegoat** [13:24]  
yeah man im fine dont worry abt me

 **cloutstrife** [13:25]  
are u sure because you weren't very active in the group chat today

 **cloutstrife** [13:26]  
so i got worried

 **zackthegoat** [13:26]  
awww ur worried abt me??

 **cloutstrife** [13:26]  
nvm choke

 **cloutstrife** [13:27]  
seriously though. you're gonna be ok?

 **zackthegoat** [13:27]  
yeah man! im just tired LOL i didn't sleep very well last night

 **cloutstrife** [13:28]  
if that's the case, do u wanna go to dunkin?

 **cloutstrife** [13:28]  
i want a caramel macchiato

 **zackthegoat** [13:30]  
i'd like that actually

 **cloutstrife** [13:30]  
where are you? i'll pick you up

 **zackthegoat** [13:30]  
i'm in the humanities library!! u know how to get there?

 **cloutstrife** [13:30]  
yeah, now i do

 **cloutstrife** [13:31]  
ok, i'll text you when im there. later

_**cloutstrife** has logged off!_

**zackthegoat** [13:32]  
i'll see you too, cloud :)

 **zackthegoat** [13:33]  
god ik ur not even online but i gotta say it

 **zackthegoat** [13:33]  
im rlly proud of u and how far you've come man

 **zackthegoat** [13:34]  
you're just really great and you're so resilient and effortlessly cool

 **zackthegoat** [13:34]  
i wish i could have the guts to say it to you in person

 **zackthegoat** [13:35]  
bc. bc i really need you rn, cloud.

_**zackthegoat** has logged off!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to say that as of this chapter we are currently >100 words ahead of shakespeare's macbeth. this is amazing
> 
> WHEW anyway how yall feeling after that chapter? exhausted? me too! i wrote this in one sitting (sue me). but at least one of our endgame ships are basically together bc they've been SMOOCHING this entire time. disclaimer i do not condone cheating or infidelity........and i also appreciate drama, so that's why i wrote it
> 
> ALSO also also also thank you so much for sticking around for ten (10!!!) chapters! we're halfway there golly gee can you believe it,,,,we might be finished before thanksgiving at the rate that im posting /o\
> 
> im so freaking tired its currently 2:40am i've been writing for three hrs now so im gonna finish this up and head off to bed! thank you in advance for all of your engagement with this work (kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, etc)! i look forward to interacting with you all in the comments, and i'll work hard to come at you with another chapter hot and fresh! as always, stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask! bye bye<33
> 
> \-- angie
> 
> p.s. their phones got an update bc of ios14 and i said so, so now log-off notifs and calls r in italics. bc...i said so. OKAY BYE<3


	11. happy late vincent valentine day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **vincentval** [10:28]  
> no, bc we'd just show you a picture of nintendo's favorite "itsa me" man and you would be consumed with such raw sexual desire for the mustache mascot that i'd be able to make my escape
> 
> * * *
> 
> in which cloud dreams about fighting mario and steve, yuffie is old and doesn't like change, and zack gets a new playlist.

**teafalockhart** [10:20]  
i mean when i was a kid i had an electric scooter and it was so stable i could use it without any hands

 **zackthegoat** [10:20]  
bro how did you dodge all the PANTIES being thrown at u

 **teafalockhart** [10:20]  
B)))

 **vincentval** [10:20]  
hey guys? what the fuck?

 **wallb** [10:21]  
I swear yall have the weirdest little brains

 **cloutstrife** [10:21]  
good morning i just had the weirdest dream

 **wallb** [10:21]  
Speak of the devil

 **aerithgains** [10:21]  
hi cloud! pray tell about your dream

 **cloutstrife** [10:22]  
well i had a dream where i was like fighting mario and minecraft's steve?

 **sephirothc** [10:22]  
did you get checked out for melatonin overdose?

 **cloutstrife** [10:22]  
you know, i eat melatonin gummies one time

 **teafalockhart** [10:23]  
cloud you LITERALLY ate half the jar before realizing

 **cloutstrife** [10:23]  
you dont know that

 **teafalockhart** [10:24]  
SQUALL LITERALLY TOLD ME

 **cloutstrife** [10:24]  
the homophobia in the studio today

 **yeetfie** [10:24]  
hey gang i see we're talking about cloud's wet dream with mario and steve

 **zackthegoat** [10:24]  
WET DREAM?????/????

 **cloutstrife** [10:25]  
you know what? strongly considering finishing the melatonin gummies

 **yeetfie** [10:25]  
cloud....u know we're ur friends right

 **yeetfie** [10:25]  
if ur horny for nintendo men....

 **sephirothc** [10:26]  
is this why we broke up? what does mario have that i don't?

 **aerithgains** [10:26]  
mario just has the pure raw lust for cloud that you didn't, seph

 **sephirothc** [10:26]  
understandable. i would've left him for mario "jumpman" mario as well.

 **wallb** [10:27]  
Y'all are on something and I'd like to have some so I dont have to remember wtf I just read

 **yeetfie** [10:27]  
lust changed cloud, barret

 **wallb** [10:28]  
You know what? Cloud, its ok if you're into 2D men. Im only judging a little

 **cloutstrife** [10:28]  
i will kill all of you with a big heavy rock

 **vincentval** [10:28]  
no, bc we'd just show you a picture of nintendo's favorite "itsa me" man and you would be consumed with such raw sexual desire for the mustache mascot that i'd be able to make my escape

 **zackthegoat** [10:29]  
HEY GUYS? IM SO AFRAID OF ALL OF YOU

 **wallb** [10:30]  
Man welcome to my world

 **cloutstrife** [10:30]  
im dropping out of college. mario wouldn't treat me like this

 **zackthegoat** [10:30]  
wait No

 **yeetfie** [10:31]  
HE ADMITS IT

 **aerithgains** [10:31]  
cloud strife -> cloud jumpman?

 **cloutstrife** [10:32]  
i think being impaled with a sword would be preferable to this rn

 **sephirothc** [10:32]  
you want to be stabbed? i know a guy.

 **zackthegoat** [10:33]  
WAHTT HE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **teafalockhart** [10:33]  
seph u have friends?

 **sephirothc** [10:34]  
indeed i do. i surprise myself every day with the fact.

 **wallb** [10:34]  
Yall need a hug? Or therapy?

 **sephirothc** [10:35]  
i'll respectfully pass. anyway, zack, open the door.

 **zackthegoat** [10:35]  
????? to where

 **sephirothc** [10:36]  
your secret lair. no, to your apartment.

 **yeetfie** [10:36]  
sephy using sarcasm scares me. im old and i dont like change

 **vincentval** [10:37]  
you're 18?

 **yeetfie** [10:37]  
IM OLD AND I DONT LIKE CHANGE

 **teafalockhart** [10:37]  
ok boomer

 **yeetfie** [10:38]  
SKDHJGFH???

 **wallb** [10:38]  
Man if you're old what am I

 **yeetfie** [10:38]  
prehistoric B))

 **wallb** [10:38]  
You know, I walked into that one

 **zackthegoat** [10:39]  
bro i just left the apartment. i think angeal should still be home? and genesis too

 **sephirothc** [10:39]  
angeal seems to have his phone on silent, and genesis is leaving me on read.

 **zackthegoat** [10:39]  
i'll ft genny and let him know but why do you need to get into da apartment

 **sephirothc** [10:39]  
i have a three hour break in between my classes, so i wanted to use your space to study in peace and quiet.

 **teafalockhart** [10:40]  
imagine having breaks in between classes

 **cloutstrife** [10:40]  
u can if u skip

 **aerithgains** [10:40]  
cloud, no

 **cloutstrife** [10:40]  
cloud yes

 **zackthegoat** [10:41]  
wait cloud no i was gonna save you a seat in asian-american studies B((((

 **cloutstrife** [10:41]  
well i didnt tell u to not save a seat

 **zackthegoat** [10:41]  
:D

 **yeetfie** [10:41]  
IT TOOK ITS GLASSES OFF

 **zackthegoat** [10:41]  
oh God oh fuck

 **zackthegoat** [10:41]  
BD

 **sephirothc** [10:42]  
that doesn't look remotely like a face, but okay.

 **sephirothc** [10:42]  
i also got into the apartment. thanks.

 **yeetfie** [10:43]  
HE'S DOUBLE TEXTING.....EVOLVING??????

 **sephirothc** [10:43]  
yes, it would seem to be the case.

 **yeetfie** [10:43]  
next step? get him shitposting

 **sephirothc** [10:44]  
so i should be posting pictures of you?

 **yeetfie** [10:44]  
.

 **teafalockhart** [10:44]  
hey? i would like to report a body

 **aerithgains** [10:45]  
sephiroth kind of sus

 **wallb** [10:45]  
Im losing my damn mind because of yall

 **vincentval** [10:45]  
welcome to my world

* * *

_this is a private conversation between **cloutstrife** and **zackthegoat**!_

**zackthegoat** [12:01]  
thanks for letting me listen to music with you LMAO today's lecture was a drag

 **zackthegoat** [12:01]  
i didnt know you were into edm

 **cloutstrife** [12:02]  
yeah no problem

 **cloutstrife** [12:02]  
also yeah i've liked it ever since my mcr phase in high school

 **zackthegoat** [12:02]  
do u wanna do it again sometime???

 **cloutstrife** [12:02]  
have an mcr phase? sorry but no

 **zackthegoat** [12:03]  
NO SKVDNSAGHAG i meant listen to music together LMAOOOO

 **cloutstrife** [12:03]  
i mean i would like to but im also trying to pass this class

 **zackthegoat** [12:04]  
understandable and valid!

 **zackthegoat** [12:04]  
then how about outside of class?

 **cloutstrife** [12:04]  
i mean, i wouldnt want to bother you

 **cloutstrife** [12:04]  
idk arent you busy with aerith too

 **zackthegoat** [12:07]  
LMAOOO

 **zackthegoat** [12:09]  
no she's off doing her own thing for the most part

 **cloutstrife** [12:09]  
i mean, if you want to, i could always just give you my playlist

 **cloutstrife** [12:09]  
chocofy has a new feature where you can listen to the same songs at the same time w people so ig it works

 **zackthegoat** [12:09]  
i would actually like that a lot, cloud :)

 **cloutstrife** [12:10]  
no shades??

 **zackthegoat** [12:10]  
SDLVNADIFBHJAIFGJ

 **zackthegoat** [12:10]  
B)*

 **zackthegoat** [12:10]  
anyway gtg my next class is starting! lets hang out after class ok? l8ter skt8er

_**zackthegoat** has logged off!_

**cloutstrife** [12:11]  
later, zack

 **cloutstrife** [12:15]  
god fucking damn it

 **cloutstrife** [12:15]  
why do i have to be so fucking selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h-hi all. im back (unfortunately)
> 
> my life's been utter craziness recently. not only has school started for me (2nd year biosci holla), but i've been dragging my boyfriend (who is awesome and adorable btw, he's [@hajime_and_izuru](https://www.instagram.com/hajime_and_izuru/) on instagram, go drop him a follow) into final fantasy hell with me. so, i decided that an easy chapter with a bit more clack slow burn would be sufficient for an update before we get back on track with the story. im kidding this chapter was so hard to write because i literally have no jokes. anyways lmk how you've been doing in the comments LMAOOO
> 
> also, i've made the playlist cloud gives to zack on spotify! you can find it [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2NSvNH9wG5y0tyi7UelbHt?si=gJ4uqwDZT5eLbBxs_cue2g)!
> 
> i don't have much else to say, so as always, i look forward to seeing your engagement with this fic, whether it be kudos, comments, subscriptions, or bookmarks! stay safe, wash your hands, and wear a mask. ily<33
> 
> \-- angie


End file.
